IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism has become one of the leading sources of revenue in manu contries. Do the adavntage outweigh disadvangtage?

#tourism #sources #revenue #manu #contries #adavntage #disadvangtage
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The
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry is one of the important income in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries all over the world. The writer
argers
Correct your spelling
argues
 that
although
Linking Words
 there may
damage
Add a missing verb
be damage
show examples
 to the
environmet
Correct your spelling
environment
, the
benefit
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benefits
show examples
 of
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities and
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
infrastructure outweigh the
drawback
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drawbacks
show examples
. One
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is
proving
Verb problem
providing
show examples
 more
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
. To put it plainly, every service in
Use synonyms
tourist
Add an article
a tourist
show examples
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
 like
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
,
restaurant
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restaurants
show examples
, shops …all need staff so it
generate
Change the verb form
generates
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for people in various
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 and the amount of
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 come to the attraction regularly
that is
Linking Words
 why the
job
Use synonyms
 will be
maintain
Change the form of the verb
maintained
show examples
 in the long term.
Frome
Correct your spelling
From
show examples
 the survey,
tourism
Use synonyms
account
Correct subject-verb agreement
accounts
show examples
 for about 10% of employment
worldwile
Correct your spelling
worldwide
, whether directly or indirectly.
Hence
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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 the reduction of unemployment. Another advantage of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is
stimulate
Wrong verb form
stimulates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
infrastructure investment. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, the income from
Use synonyms
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 industry will be used to carry out various
infractructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
project
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projects
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
road
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roads
show examples
, public transport
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
, sewage
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
,..to make
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 better .
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 of local people will
be improve
Change the verb form
be improved
show examples
 and it
also
Linking Words
 attracted more
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 because of the good
infrstructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 condition.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
infractucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 of countries will
be develop
Change the verb form
be developed
show examples
 through
tourism
Use synonyms
However
Linking Words
 many people believe that
tourism
Use synonyms
 can pose a threat to
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
. It must be recognized that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
tourist
Use synonyms
 sometime cause damage during their visit in
attempt
Add an article
an attempt
show examples
 to find a photo opportunity so it
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to over
exploitation
Correct your spelling
over-exploitation
show examples
 of natural resources
also
Linking Words
 destroying
habitats
Correct article usage
the habitats
show examples
 of many species which
consequences
Add a missing verb
has consequences
show examples
 on
bidodiversity
Correct your spelling
biodiversity
.
However
Linking Words
 many
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
 have a limitation for
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in many natural
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
and have a strict punishment for
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 who break the rules.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the environment will not be
harm
Wrong verb form
harmed
show examples
 by
tourism
Use synonyms
 with the
proctection
Correct your spelling
protection
 of government . In conclusion, the pressure on
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
is outweigh
Change the verb form
is outweighed
show examples
 by providing more
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and improving the
infracstructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 ht
hug
Correct your spelling
huge
show examples
 revenue and
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 for many
Correct your spelling
countries
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 around the world
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to demonstrate the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction clearly addresses the question and includes a thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position clearly.
task achievement
Develop main points with specific examples and explanations to support your arguments. Ensure these examples are clearly connected to the question prompt and contribute to the overall position.
task achievement
Be attentive to grammatical accuracy and range as well as the correct use of vocabulary. Carefully proofread your essay to correct errors in sentence structure, spelling, word choice, and punctuation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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