Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #diet #government #citizens

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Nowadays, the proliferation of unhealthy habits and unhealthy

food

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leads to weakness in the new generation.

Therefore

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, a diverse range of individuals are convinced that they are responsible for their nutrition,

while

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others believe that the government play a vital role in

this

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issue. I have a balanced opinion. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on the pros and cons. On the one hand, the way of eating changed recently. A lot of

food

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is integrated with fats and unhealthy elements.

This

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type of

food

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affected us and made us gain weight.

For instance

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, a recent study from Chigaco University illustrated that junk

food

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can harm our health if we use it frequently.

Moreover

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, Individuals do not have a lot of time to cook healthy

food

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thus

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they purchase junk

food

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to consume more time.

Likewise

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, the doctors in American hospitals are eating fast

food

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due to

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their hectic schedules.

Hence

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, they find an effortless way to eat.

In addition

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, fast

food

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contains dopamine.

This

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substance is responsible for our body feeling satisfied.

On the other hand

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, the government should be involved in

this

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matter. It can implement taxation on these restaurants to mitigate utilizing it. They

also

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should be aware people more on the obstacles to

this

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issue.

For instance

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, the Egyptian health ministry introduced more programs to raise awareness in society.

Furthermore

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, it can provide affordable checkups for its citizens.

This

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can assist us to early diagnose any disease and help people. In a nutshell, there will be a debate on

this

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argument. The government and individuals should unit together to alleviate any problems. Over time,

this

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will help the community and the new generation to feel satisfied.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Wed Jul 31 2024

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Task Achievement

Work on providing more distinct and fully developed arguments for both viewpoints. For example, when discussing individual responsibility, you could elaborate further on how self-discipline and personal choices impact health. Likewise, when discussing government responsibility, you could provide more specific examples of successful government interventions.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph centers around a clear main point that is seamlessly connected to the essay's overall argument. Avoid repeating similar ideas. For instance, the paragraph on government intervention could discuss specific measures like public health campaigns, subsidies for healthier food options, and stricter regulations on food labeling.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument well. This is a solid foundation to build upon.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as the study from Chicago University and the Egyptian health ministry, which help to support your points.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying to alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is positive and negative development?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

Teenagers face a lot of difficulties at home and at school. What are the causes for this? How can parents provide solutions?

Art classes such as painting and drawing are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?