The global demand for oil and gas is increasing. Some believe that we should therefore encourage the exploitation of remote areas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
These days oil and gas have significant consumption all around the world. Some people argue that rural areas with a considerable amount of these subsiquents should help
this
global need. Although
there are some useful results for that, it can be harmful to our environment. I believe that the
drawbacks are more than the benefits.
On the one hand, by finding new areas that have a wide amount of fuel, lots of Products would be Published and the global demands would be answered. For instance
, factories have the initial material to Produce new plastic goods. Moreover
, a large group of workers would find a career. Therefore
, We observe that the price of products will decrease, so it has an essential impact on economy
of the society.
Add an article
the economy
On the other hand
, it is clear that
in recent decades humans have manipulated the environment, thus
it harmed
nature, weather, and wildlife. By using untouched sources of oil and gas from the land we are going to boost and develop the usage of factories and vehicles. Wrong verb form
harming
As a result
of
Change preposition
apply
that
global warming will increase, Correct determiner usage
apply
also
we will destroy the habitat of some animal's
species. Change noun form
animal
Then
this
course will go on, and we will finish all the sources of energy, so there will not left
anything for the future.
Change the verb form
leave
be left
To sum up
, I think using unknown sources of energy has more negative impacts on our world. AS there is not any
control over the Percentage of using these materials, the village shouldn't be destroyed by humans.Rephrase
no
Submitted by arefehbks on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but the ideas are not fully developed. Expand each point with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your points more logically. Use clear, separate paragraphs for each main idea, with topic sentences and concluding sentences.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, ensuring that they are directly relevant to the topic and your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to provide a balanced argument by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure before stating your opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on the grammatical accuracy and range in your writing. Watch for article usage, verb forms, and word choice.
coherence cohesion
To improve your score, focus on developing each paragraph with a clear main idea and supporting details that directly relate to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, restate your main argument and summarise the reasons for your point of view. Make sure it is consistent with what was previously mentioned in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
