IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems,as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language
Knowing how to speak a foreign
language
 is the most crucial way to connect with that
country
’s culture. If someone cannot make connections with
people
 around him in a foreign
country
, it causes many mental problems in the long term.
However
, is it the only aspect that
people
 have to be concerned about? I completely agree with the importance of knowing the
language
 of the
country
 you live in, and in
this
 essay, I will support my opinion. First of all, to have a good relationship with the
people
 of the
country
 you live in, you have to be good at speaking. As you may know, getting in touch with a new community takes time. Individuals live in a foreign
country
 for different reasons,
such
 as to get a better job or study at a better university. For that reason, they have to take their
language
 to the next level.
For instance
,
language
Add an article
the language
show examples
 barrier is one of the most significant issues for
people
 living in another
country
.
Secondly
, homesickness is the other result for someone who cannot make friends in a foreign
country
.
People
 need to have friends to have fun and be free with them on their holidays to have a healthy life. Being lonely for a long time may make you a bad-tempered person nobody loves and can’t get in touch with
people
 quickly.
On the other hand
, some
people
 may take
this
language
 barrier as an encouragement to improve their speaking skills and make them better for a better life and a bright future. In conclusion,
language
 barriers and homesickness are issues that a person who cannot speak well in a foreign
country
 has to deal with.
People
 must learn the
language
first,
and
then
 they can think to immigrate to another
country
.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay presents a clear position and discusses the importance of knowing the language of the country you live in, it would benefit from a more explicit thesis statement that clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion. To improve coherence, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could be clearer.
task achievement
Your main points are supported, but the essay would be strengthened by including more detailed and specific examples. These examples will help illustrate your arguments and increase the persuasive power of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: