Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

Some humans leave their houses in simple areas to get a higher education in modern
cities
. It is wonderful to visit the
city
to
work
and learn. It was essential to get the best job and school in the
city
. In
this
essay, the two points
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
will be argued. The initial one to consider is that many reasons to leave their homes.
Moreover
, when we
study
in modern
cities
, we can get a higher education and be more comfortable.
In other words
, many young
people
work
in the
city
because it is basic, and more comfortable and feel over the
moon
.
In addition
, humans
work
in the best
city
to get a high salary their feel over the
moon
. A
study
published by New York University concluded that 90% of citizens
work
in modern companies to improve themselves and get a lot of money.
For example
, when we
work
very well, we can get comfortable, better moody, big salary of
people
.
On the other hand
, some
people
believe that studying in a
city
has disadvantages . First of all, there is a cost in the modern
cities
to
study
there.
Furthermore
, boys and girls don't have experience in communicating with other
people
.
For example
, if we go to other
cities
to
work
, we should spend the cost of living at home.
Also
, humans who
work
in other countries miss family and friends.
Therefore
,
people
should
study
in their areas to assist poor children to learn new things and fall over the
moon
. In conclusion, more and more
people
think that getting high
work
in a big
city
a great for them in life. From my own personal point of view, a lot of
people
need more information about leaving another
city
. It is better to exchange our experience about
this
issue. If we get high
study
, we will get experience.
People
should use amazing
work
to feel over the
moon
.
Submitted by shaikhaalrashidi24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay presents some relevant points, but it would benefit from a clearer structure and stronger linkage between ideas. Try to organize your essay in a more logical manner and use linking words more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay covers the task requirements, but make sure to develop your ideas more fully. Include more detailed examples to support your points and provide a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your main points are well supported. Avoid repetition and strive for more precision in your explanations.
task achievement
You have a strong understanding of the topic and have attempted to address both the reasons for young people moving to cities and the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is essential to a good essay structure.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!