Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

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Some humans leave their houses in simple areas to get a higher education in modern
cities
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. It is wonderful to visit the
city
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to
work
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and learn. It was essential to get the best job and school in the
city
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. In
this
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essay, the two points
view
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of view
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will be argued. The initial one to consider is that many reasons to leave their homes.
Moreover
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, when we
study
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in modern
cities
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, we can get a higher education and be more comfortable.
In other words
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, many young
people
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work
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in the
city
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because it is basic, and more comfortable and feel over the
moon
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.
In addition
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, humans
work
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in the best
city
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to get a high salary their feel over the
moon
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. A
study
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published by New York University concluded that 90% of citizens
work
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in modern companies to improve themselves and get a lot of money.
For example
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, when we
work
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very well, we can get comfortable, better moody, big salary of
people
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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believe that studying in a
city
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has disadvantages . First of all, there is a cost in the modern
cities
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to
study
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there.
Furthermore
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, boys and girls don't have experience in communicating with other
people
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.
For example
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, if we go to other
cities
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to
work
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, we should spend the cost of living at home.
Also
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, humans who
work
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in other countries miss family and friends.
Therefore
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,
people
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should
study
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in their areas to assist poor children to learn new things and fall over the
moon
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. In conclusion, more and more
people
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think that getting high
work
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in a big
city
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a great for them in life. From my own personal point of view, a lot of
people
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need more information about leaving another
city
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. It is better to exchange our experience about
this
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issue. If we get high
study
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, we will get experience.
People
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should use amazing
work
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to feel over the
moon
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.
Submitted by shaikhaalrashidi24 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents some relevant points, but it would benefit from a clearer structure and stronger linkage between ideas. Try to organize your essay in a more logical manner and use linking words more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay covers the task requirements, but make sure to develop your ideas more fully. Include more detailed examples to support your points and provide a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your main points are well supported. Avoid repetition and strive for more precision in your explanations.
task achievement
You have a strong understanding of the topic and have attempted to address both the reasons for young people moving to cities and the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is essential to a good essay structure.
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