Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

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Some humans leave their houses in simple areas to get a higher education in modern

cities

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. It is wonderful to visit the

city

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work

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and learn. It was essential to get the best job and school in the

city

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay, the two points

view

Change preposition

of view

show examples

will be argued. The initial one to consider is that many reasons to leave their homes.

Moreover

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, when we

study

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in modern

cities

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, we can get a higher education and be more comfortable.

In other words

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, many young

people

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work

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in the

city

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because it is basic, and more comfortable and feel over the

moon

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In addition

Linking Words

, humans

work

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in the best

city

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to get a high salary their feel over the

moon

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. A

study

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published by New York University concluded that 90% of citizens

work

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in modern companies to improve themselves and get a lot of money.

For example

Linking Words

, when we

work

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very well, we can get comfortable, better moody, big salary of

people

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On the other hand

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, some

people

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believe that studying in a

city

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has disadvantages . First of all, there is a cost in the modern

cities

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study

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there.

Furthermore

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, boys and girls don't have experience in communicating with other

people

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For example

Linking Words

, if we go to other

cities

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work

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, we should spend the cost of living at home.

Also

Linking Words

, humans who

work

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in other countries miss family and friends.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

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should

study

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in their areas to assist poor children to learn new things and fall over the

moon

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. In conclusion, more and more

people

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think that getting high

work

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in a big

city

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a great for them in life. From my own personal point of view, a lot of

people

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need more information about leaving another

city

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. It is better to exchange our experience about

this

Linking Words

issue. If we get high

study

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, we will get experience.

People

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should use amazing

work

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to feel over the

moon

Use synonyms

shaikhaalrashidi24Mon Aug 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents some relevant points, but it would benefit from a clearer structure and stronger linkage between ideas. Try to organize your essay in a more logical manner and use linking words more effectively.

task achievement

Your essay covers the task requirements, but make sure to develop your ideas more fully. Include more detailed examples to support your points and provide a more comprehensive response.

task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your main points are well supported. Avoid repetition and strive for more precision in your explanations.

task achievement

You have a strong understanding of the topic and have attempted to address both the reasons for young people moving to cities and the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is essential to a good essay structure.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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