The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#youth #crimes #parents #skills

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There is a perspective suggestion that parents with good teaching skills could minor percentage of under-adult

offenses

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offences

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However

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, from my perspective, it is not only their guardian's issues but

also

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the government and

schools

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that play an important role in

this

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situation.

This

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essay will shed light on my viewpoint. On the one hand, there is no doubt that mother and father play a crucial role in influencing kids from the start, mostly because kids are usually imitating their parent's

behaviors

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behaviours

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Consequently

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, they should equip themselves with some necessary skills to shape their children’s

behavior

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behaviour

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apply

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and prevent them from engaging in criminal activities.

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, there was a survey indicated that a vast number of juvenile crimes were a result of lacking parents' attention.

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, it is totally reasonable to say that enhancing the educational environment at home can lessen the rates of crimes among young adults.

On the other hand

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, schooling in

schools

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also

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critical for reducing the figure of crimes, especially when nowadays children spend most of their time in school. A case in point is

schools

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could release laws to punish students who bully their friends, which could lead to more serious consequences later.

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, most of the early criminals start from peer pressure, which provokes them to be addicted to drugs and alcohol.

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, there should be classes to introduce the outcome when committing the laws. In conclusion, both parents and

schools

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should engage in education careers to make the youngsters become a good civilization in the future.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Sun Jan 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

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task achievement

Clarify your position throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion, to make sure you are fully addressing the task.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples or data to support your arguments and make them more convincing.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

mandatory
equip
psychological
constructively
foster
empowered
isolated
escalation
multi-faceted approach
eradicate
peer influence
socio-economic status

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