Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that sending
criminals
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to prison is not an effective way to deal with them.
Education
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and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is widely debated that offering
education
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and vocational training for lawbreakers is a better and more realistic solution rather than letting them receive prison sentences. From my perspective,
while
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I agree that
education
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is a possible way to tackle
this
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issue, I strongly believe that individuals who break the law must receive more severe punishment by being sent to jail. On the one hand, it is tangible that providing ways involved in
education
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in order to broaden the offenders’ minds plays an indispensable role in assisting
criminals
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in rehabilitating the community as usual.
Initially
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, among lawbreakers, there are multiple dwellers, who engage in criminal activities as a way of earning a living.
This
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can be explained that they have to suffer from poverty and unemployment for a long period.
As a result
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, they have to break the law by minor crimes namely shoplifting or pickpocketing in order to overcome the adversities in daily life.
Consequently
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, these are educable citizens, and authorities ought to support them in daily life by providing free accommodation, and an occupation in order that they can make a living and avoid reoffending.
Secondly
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, since there are multiple inhabitants who commit serious crimes
such
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as robbery or murder, the violent environment in jails potentially causes serious mental issues among
criminals
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. The result of
this
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trend is that they have a tendency to commit an
offense
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offence
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again.
As a consequence
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,
education
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and vocational training are possible ways to help them escape from negative thinking in the future.
In contrast
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, I strongly believe that prisons are the best place to educate offenders, as jails have already existed for thousands of years. First of all, sending dwellers who break the laws behind bars will prevent them from posing a severe threat to society.
Hence
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, it is able to create a peaceful and secure society for all dwellers, and they will not have to be worried about multiple crimes namely robbery, kidnapping, and murder invading in public.
In addition
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, it will support the community in developing a sense of safety and security as all
criminals
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are taken into jails.
Finally
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, offenders will learn multiple valuable lessons related to freedom, since they lost it after committing a crime.
Therefore
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, after being released from prison, they will not have the capability to re-offend and follow the rules since they are afraid of losing their freedom again. In conclusion, from
aforementioned
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the aforementioned
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viewpoints, I believe that
although
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training and
education
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play a vital role in helping the
criminals
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, prisons are the most suitable place for them as they will learn different lessons
while
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staying there.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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task achievement
To enhance your score in task achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Offer a more balanced discussion on both viewpoints and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more relevant examples and evidence to support your points, ensuring they are specific and directly related to the question prompt.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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