IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph shows the demand for energy and the energy available for fossil fuels in Freedonia from 1985 to 2005. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#demand #energy #fuels #freedonia #report #university #lecturer #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates how much
energy
 in
units
 is required and exists over the
period
 1985 to 2005.
According to
 the statistics, it is noticeable, that the amount of demanded
energy
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 by 2005. Regarding the presented
energy
, the lack of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
units
 is observed by the end of the
period
. In fact, the data in the graph reveals a sharp fall from the beginning of the
period
 to 1990 when the needed number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
units
 reaches the minimum point for the whole time. During the next 5
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
this
 figure remains steady.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, there is a slight rise in demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
units
 by 2000.
Subsequently
, a marked upward trend is presented by the end of the
period
. At
this
 point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 700 billion megajoules are
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
. Looking more closely at the information about the
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
energy
, we highlight a gradual increase starting from the point of 4
units
 during the first 10 years of the
period
. Actually, it
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak in 1995.
However
, in the next five years, a significant downward trend of the existing
energy
 lasts till 2000 and leads to 2,5 billion megajoules that remains permanent by 2005.
Overall
, the amount of the
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
energy
 is significantly less than the required figure.
Submitted by julykryuchkova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, units, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: