Topic: Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
The notion of what activities should be done during your
leisure
time
have
quite Correct subject-verb agreement
has
picking
up the public's interest. Many Change the verb form
picked
people
believes
that doing productive activities during spare Change the verb form
believe
time
is necessary, while
some might argues
Change the verb form
argue
leisure
time
is a time
to rest your mind
. In this
essay, I will elucidate and analyze both views and give my personal opinion in the end.
Productive activities such
as reading and doing word puzzles help you improve your mind
. For instance
, people
who stimulates
their brain even Change the verb form
stimulate
on
their spare Change preposition
in
time
, often feels
their Change the verb form
feel
life
is more right on track. Without any doubt, stimulating your brain helps you not to lose focus even on weekend
. In the end, many folks believe keeping their best condition even during on Correct article usage
the weekend
weekend
have
a better Correct subject-verb agreement
has
advance
for their Correct your spelling
advantage
life
.
On the other hands
, resting during Fix the agreement mistake
hand
leisure
time
is more appealing to some people
who have heavy workload
during Fix the agreement mistake
workloads
weekday
. Fix the agreement mistake
weekdays
Furthermore
, resting gives many people
a chance to seek and explore more. For instance
, someone decided to have an exhilarating activity such
as hiking on weekend
. Correct article usage
the weekend
Not to mention
, work-
Correct your spelling
work-life balance
life
-balance is an occuring trend nowadays. In addition
, by
recharging energy during the Change preposition
apply
weekend
helps most people
in
better Change preposition
apply
preparing
for another Wrong verb form
prepare
monday
.
Change the capitalization
Monday
To conclude
, playing with your brain on
your Change preposition
in
leisure
time
helps keep your life
right on track. In contrast
, resting your mind
on weekend
offers you a better chance to explore the world. In my perspective, the second choice, to rest my Correct article usage
the weekend
mind
during my spare time
, have
better advantages for my Correct subject-verb agreement
has
life
.Submitted by kezia.ch.wibowo on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the other. Transition phrases can guide the reader smoothly through your arguments. Aim to have a more cohesive structure by fleshing out your points with more detailed support.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. While your essay touches on both sides, giving more specific examples would strengthen your response. Your personal opinion is clear, but try to integrate it throughout the essay rather than only in the conclusion for a more complete response.
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