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Band 4.5

Nowadays because of digital technology, it is possible for not only studios but also individuals to produce their own films. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#technology #studios #individuals #films #development
In
this
 era, everyone can produce their own
movies
instead
 of studios.
This
 development is possible
due to
 advancements in
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 sector. In my view point,
this
 technological
advancements
Fix the agreement mistake
advancement
show examples
 is a positive development.
To begin
 with, digital
technology
 helps to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial issues. As the
individial
Correct your spelling
individual
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
show examples
 their own cameras, whatever camera is it phone, DSLR they can produce their own pictures. Hardly
they
Add a missing verb
do they
show examples
 need
help
Add an article
the help
show examples
 of studios to create
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
pictures or
movies
. Individuals save their money with the help of
technology
.
In contrast
 to past times,
people
 need to visit
studio
Add an article
the studio
show examples
 and pay them
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
show examples
 amount for the
movies
. Now, they can do their work with little investment in
technology
.
Hence
,
this
 digital
technology
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
 who are struggling with financial crises.
Moreover
, advancements in
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
 sector
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
creation
Add an article
the creation
show examples
 of
jobs
. With the help of
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 or recording devices,
people
 can open their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 of
film making
Correct your spelling
filmmaking
show examples
. Unemployed
people
 who are looking for
jobs
 can start their own business or start working with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
people
. In
this
 way, it will create more
jobs
. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
jobs
 will be created
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
digital
technology
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
 to youth who have talent but no resources to explore their potential. In
this
 way, they can buy their camera or collaborate with other small investors and shoot their
movies
.
Thus
, it will bring new talent
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the industry.
Although
, digital
technology
 brings a positive development in the
movies
Change the noun form
movie
show examples
 sector
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it has some negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 which should be tackled to provide good content to society.
Submitted by Dharmveer singh on

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structure
Make sure to have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure in your essay. Your introduction briefly addresses the topic, but it lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines your main points. Consider adding one to guide the reader.
development
Work on developing your points more fully in the body paragraphs. Provide specific examples to support your arguments. This will help in illustrating your viewpoints and making your essay more persuasive.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that sentences within paragraphs are logically connected. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.
task response
Try to address both sides of the argument to fully respond to the question. You should discuss the potential negative impacts of individual film production as the prompt asks for your opinion on whether it is a positive or negative development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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