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Writing Samples
Band 7

Childcare is important. Both parents should attend childcare courses To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

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Taking
care
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 of children is a really relevant topic for our society. Nowadays, there are a lot of courses to study on how to
care
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 for a child and people believe that doing
this
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 is important for those who want to be
parents
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. As I strongly agree with
this
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 point of view,
this
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 essay will discuss some reasons for that.
Firstly
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, childcare is important because the children of today are going to be the adults in the future, so kids are a relevant part of our society. The education and
care
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 that young people receive in childhood are determinant for their lives.
Thus
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, the
parents
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'
care
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 can affect their character and behaviours in the long term.
For example
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, psychology already knows that most traumas that a person has begin with a trigger of something that happened in childhood or with the
parents
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.
Secondly
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, I believe that
parents
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 should attend courses to learn the best practices of childcare. By doing these kinds of classes, the mother and the father will know how to lead diverse types of questions unknown and will give medical, psychological and scientific embodiment to choose the best practices for it.
For instance
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, it is important to know the best age to introduce some foods or the best age to allow the kids to watch TV.
To conclude
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, childcare is a very important subject, as it has a big influence on the future life of the kids and courses of child
care
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 should be a normal attitude for both
parents
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 to guarantee the best practices.

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task achievement
Make sure to have a clear thesis statement in the introduction that reflects your position on the topic.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and varied supporting examples to strengthen your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance readability and flow of the essay.
task achievement
Try to develop the paragraphs fully by expanding on the points with explanations and details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare
  • Parenting skills
  • Gender equality
  • Child development
  • Co-parenting
  • Work-life balance
  • Cognitive and emotional growth
  • Parental involvement
  • Early childhood education
  • Mandatory courses
  • Support systems
  • Family dynamics
  • Nurturing environment
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