Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.

#people #money #factor #happiness

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In contemporary society, the debate over the significance of

money

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in achieving

happiness

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remains contentious.

While

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some contend that financial

wealth

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is essential for

happiness

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, others argue that true

happiness

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transcends material possessions. Both perspectives offer valuable insights into the complex relationship between

money

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and

happiness

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. On one hand, proponents of the view that

money

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is crucial for

happiness

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emphasize the tangible benefits that financial

wealth

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can provide. Individuals with ample financial resources are better equipped to meet their basic needs,

such

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as food, shelter, and healthcare.

Moreover

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, they have the means to access luxuries and experiences that can enhance their quality of life,

such

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as travel, entertainment, and leisure activities.

Additionally

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, financial security affords individuals the freedom to pursue their passions and aspirations without the constraints of financial limitations.

For instance

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, those with sufficient

wealth

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may have the opportunity to pursue higher education, pursue career ambitions, or engage in philanthropic

endeavors

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endeavours

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that bring

fulfillment

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fulfilment

show examples

and joy.

Conversely

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, proponents of the opposing view argue that true

happiness

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cannot be bought with

money

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and stems from internal sources rather than external possessions. They contend that material

wealth

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may provide temporary satisfaction but fails to address deeper emotional and psychological needs.

Happiness

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, they argue, is rooted in factors

such

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as meaningful relationships, personal growth, and a sense of purpose and

fulfillment

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fulfilment

show examples

Moreover

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, the relentless pursuit of

wealth

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can lead to a hedonic treadmill, where individuals constantly strive for more material possessions without experiencing lasting

happiness

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Instead

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, they suggest that cultivating gratitude, mindfulness, and contentment can lead to a more fulfilling and sustainable sense of

happiness

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. In conclusion, the debate over the role of

money

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in achieving

happiness

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reflects the complexity of human desires and aspirations.

While

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financial

wealth

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can undoubtedly contribute to

happiness

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by providing security and opportunities for enjoyment, it is not the sole determinant of one's

overall

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well-being. True

happiness

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, it seems, lies in striking a balance between material

wealth

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and internal

fulfillment

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fulfilment

show examples

, recognizing the importance of both external and internal sources of

happiness

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Submitted by Qia on Thu Apr 04 2024

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Task Achievement

For even stronger results, integrate more specific real-life examples or case studies to support your arguments. This would enrich your essay and provide a solid foundation for your views.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates excellent coherence and cohesion. For additional improvement, consider varying your sentence structures more frequently to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have produced a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your discussion points.

Task Achievement

You've effectively addressed the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas on both views regarding money and happiness.

Task Achievement

Your discussion provides a balanced view on a complex topic, which showcases your ability to understand and communicate intricate issues.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.

It is suggested that some countries give money to poorer countries rather than financial aid.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?

Some claim that children are more aware of environmental issues than older adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?