Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views.

In contemporary society, the debate over the significance of
money
in achieving
happiness
remains contentious.
While
some contend that financial
wealth
is essential for
happiness
, others argue that true
happiness
transcends material possessions. Both perspectives offer valuable insights into the complex relationship between
money
and
happiness
. On one hand, proponents of the view that
money
is crucial for
happiness
emphasize the tangible benefits that financial
wealth
can provide. Individuals with ample financial resources are better equipped to meet their basic needs,
such
as food, shelter, and healthcare.
Moreover
, they have the means to access luxuries and experiences that can enhance their quality of life,
such
as travel, entertainment, and leisure activities.
Additionally
, financial security affords individuals the freedom to pursue their passions and aspirations without the constraints of financial limitations.
For instance
, those with sufficient
wealth
may have the opportunity to pursue higher education, pursue career ambitions, or engage in philanthropic
endeavors
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endeavours
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that bring
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
and joy.
Conversely
, proponents of the opposing view argue that true
happiness
cannot be bought with
money
and stems from internal sources rather than external possessions. They contend that material
wealth
may provide temporary satisfaction but fails to address deeper emotional and psychological needs.
Happiness
, they argue, is rooted in factors
such
as meaningful relationships, personal growth, and a sense of purpose and
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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.
Moreover
, the relentless pursuit of
wealth
can lead to a hedonic treadmill, where individuals constantly strive for more material possessions without experiencing lasting
happiness
.
Instead
, they suggest that cultivating gratitude, mindfulness, and contentment can lead to a more fulfilling and sustainable sense of
happiness
. In conclusion, the debate over the role of
money
in achieving
happiness
reflects the complexity of human desires and aspirations.
While
financial
wealth
can undoubtedly contribute to
happiness
by providing security and opportunities for enjoyment, it is not the sole determinant of one's
overall
well-being. True
happiness
, it seems, lies in striking a balance between material
wealth
and internal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
, recognizing the importance of both external and internal sources of
happiness
.
Submitted by Qia on

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Task Achievement
For even stronger results, integrate more specific real-life examples or case studies to support your arguments. This would enrich your essay and provide a solid foundation for your views.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates excellent coherence and cohesion. For additional improvement, consider varying your sentence structures more frequently to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have produced a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your discussion points.
Task Achievement
You've effectively addressed the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas on both views regarding money and happiness.
Task Achievement
Your discussion provides a balanced view on a complex topic, which showcases your ability to understand and communicate intricate issues.

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