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Band 5

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#computers #invention #years
The
Change preposition
In the
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last
 hundred years,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of computers frequently
is
Wrong verb form
been
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 said as a necessary thing. I totally agree because there is a
computer
 can support education and business
activities
.
This
 essay will elaborate in detail
the
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on the
show examples
 reasons for my stance
as well as
 examples in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the primary reason
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
 becoming
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important invention
because
Add a missing verb
is because
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 almost all
of
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apply
show examples
schools have used the
computer
 as one of
tools
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the tools
show examples
that is
 used for supporting studying and teaching
activities
.
Teacher
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Teachers
show examples
 and
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 feel acquiring many benefits
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are taken from using the
computer
.
For instance
, the teacher can utilize the
computer
for providing
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to provide
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 the material
of
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for
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 lessons, displaying
interactive’s
Change noun form
interactive
show examples
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
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 and presenting the lessons that are appealing.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 that, the students are able to use the
computer
for making
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to make
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easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
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finding
Change the verb form
to find
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 the information and data that are entailed to fulfill the material.
Hence
,
computer
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the computer
a computer
show examples
 makes
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students
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 becoming easier to understand the material from
Correct article usage
the teacher
show examples
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
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, and it makes
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 to obtain more knowledge.
Secondly
, another reason is making
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
in supporting
Change preposition
to support
show examples
 some businesses.
Computer
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The computer
A computer
show examples
 is able to minimize
distance
Add an article
the distance
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of
Change preposition
between
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 customers and sellers, and it can open
the
Correct article usage
a
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 wide market.
For example
,
seller
Fix the agreement mistake
sellers
show examples
 do not require going to some places to offer the products. They can utilize the
computer
 for
publicating
Correct your spelling
publication
, and they are able to bargain through the
computer
.
Besides
,
seller
Add an article
the seller
a seller
show examples
 is able to promote the product on social media
such
 as Facebook, Instagram and TikTok so that these
activities
 can reach the market in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
whole of
world
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the world
show examples
.
To conclude
, I agree if someone
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
 that
invention
Correct article usage
the invention
show examples
 of
computer
Change the article
the computer
show examples
 is imperative because
this
 tool is able to make every person
easy
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to perform
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities
such
 as supporting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studying and teaching in school and
activities
 of businesses.
Submitted by fifi on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response, however, it is important to fully address all parts of the task, making sure not to oversimplify the essay question's statement. Expand on the impact of computers beyond education and business to provide a more comprehensive response covering other possible important inventions and their significance.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to include complex forms. Use a range of cohesive devices but ensure they are used appropriately. Also, aim to organize your paragraphs more logically, with clear topic sentences and appropriate supporting details for better coherence.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • invention
  • revolutionized
  • industries
  • communication
  • connectivity
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • advancements
  • scientific research
  • technology
  • access
  • information
  • learn
  • limitations
  • disadvantages
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