IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the main methodof transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009

The pie charts compare the proportion of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 who used different vehicles to commute to a university in 2004 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of commuters who used a car, decreased
setadily
Correct your spelling
steadily
while
Linking Words
 other means of transport increased.
It is clear that
Linking Words
people
Change noun form
people's
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 preference in transport within 5 years experienced different trends. In 2004, the most popular method for people to commute was by car. From 51% decreased dramatically to 28% in 2009 because the university applied a charge for car parking in 2006.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
bus
Correct quantifier usage
number of bus
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 user
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased significantly during the period as
the
Correct article usage
a
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 result of
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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 bus stop in the university in 2008 about 13%. In terms of
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
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, the number of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 in 2009
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 higher than
2004
Change preposition
in 2004
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. In both of the years, the smallest proportion of transportation
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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 was by train and walking. In 2004, these figures accounted for 3% and 4% respectively
then
Linking Words
 had a small
increased
Replace the word
increase
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1
Change preposition
of 1
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% and 2% in the next 5 years.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • method of transport
  • comparison
  • increase
  • decrease
  • cars
  • bicycles
  • walking
  • public transport
  • popular choice
  • reasons
  • changes
  • infrastructure improvements
  • impact
  • transport choices
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