The chart below shows the change in three different areas of crime in Machester city centre from 2003-2012.

#change #three #areas #crime #machester #city #centre

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The line graph depicts the change in three different regions of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003 to 2012. Generally, the

statistic

Use synonyms

of car theft

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

the biggest

number

Use synonyms

in 2012 about less than three thousand.

Then

Linking Words

, the fewest

number

Use synonyms

for crime rate was robbery approximately 500

cases

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, there was a fluctuation

statistic

Use synonyms

for

buralary

Correct your spelling

burglary

. From 2003 to 2005 the

number

Use synonyms

of car

theft

Fix the agreement mistake

thefts

show examples

had been

Verb problem

apply

show examples

decreased to 2.000,

Linking Words

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

is fluctuated

Change to the active voice

fluctuates

fluctuated

show examples

to more than 2.000 in 2008.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

number

Use synonyms

it is

Verb problem

apply

show examples

increased for the rest of

years

Correct article usage

the years

show examples

until hit more than 2.500

cases

Use synonyms

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, robbery has the fewest

cases

Use synonyms

, stood from 2003 to 2005 the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

cases

Use synonyms

it is increased steadily to less than one thousand. After that, the

statistic

Use synonyms

it is decreased gradually

onto

Change preposition

show examples

500

cases

Use synonyms

in 2008.

In addition

Linking Words

, the

number

Use synonyms

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

still increased but there was a fluctuation in 2010, until it increased in 2012

around

Change preposition

show examples

more than 500.

Lastly

Linking Words

, the

bulalary

Correct your spelling

burglary

statistic

Use synonyms

it is increased

Change preposition

show examples

the first year to more than 3.500

cases

Use synonyms

, but the

number

Use synonyms

pludged

Correct your spelling

plunged

plugged

pledged

from 2004 to 2008

about

Change preposition

show examples

less than 1.500 crime

cases

Use synonyms

Then

Linking Words

the

number

Use synonyms

it is

Verb problem

apply

show examples

increased steadily in 2009 to 1.500

cases

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, there was a fluctuation around 3 years,

then

Linking Words

the

number

Use synonyms

decreased in 2012 to less than 1.500

cases

Use synonyms

Submitted by bmaharani04 on Mon Jan 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words statistic, number, cases with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

219 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

crime rate
trend
fluctuation
peak
decrease
increase
stable
significant
socio-economic factors
policing efforts
legislation
public perception
safety
correlation
measures
national statistics
showcase

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages.
There is a debate these days whether children should learn the imported dialect in primary or secondary school.This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of early understanding of a foreign language and give my opinion that its advantages such as better proficiency and bright career prospects in future outweigh some of its disadvantages.
5.5
band
In some countries, some school leavers choose to work or travel for a year between finishing secondary school and attending university.
In some nations, many high school graduates choose to take a gap year before continuing to pursue tertiary education. This essay will discuss both the merits and the drawbacks of that trend, before discussing the author’s view.
5.5
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays, people have different prespectives about advertising. While some believe that advertising has significant achievements in convincing us to purchase specific products, some others claim that advertising has become remarkably repetitive to the public's eyes, so nobody is affected by them. According to a couple of reasons, the first notion is closer to my viewpoint.
4.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
It is thought by most governments that the most crucial goal is developing economic progress, while some people argue that there are other types of progress which have equally important in a country. In my opinion, I am being a part of the second statement that economic progress is necessary, but the other aspects have the same value of crucial, for instance, education and environmental subjects.
6.5
band
Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Although some believe that a job not only offers financial stability but also serves as a source of social interaction, others argue that cultivating a social life outside of the workplace is preferable. In my opinion, the ideal approach lies in achieving a healthy balance between both aspects in order to allow individuals to derive social benefits from their job while enjoying a broader range of social interactions outside the workspace.

The chart below shows the change in three different areas of crime in Machester city centre from 2003-2012.

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages.

In some countries, some school leavers choose to work or travel for a year between finishing secondary school and attending university.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.