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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia.

#information #tourists #holiday #resort #australia
The pie chart reveals the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
people
when
Correct word choice
who
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visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
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 certain
holiday
resort
Fix the agreement mistake
resorts
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 in Australia. Meanwhile, the table compares essential information during their
holiday
 pursuit based on their original country. It can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
holiday
 resort is dominated by Asian
people
.
Furthermore
, individuals from each country have their own
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
while
 staying at the resort, with Europeans
people
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 the longest stay. There are 37% of Asian
people
 who like to spend their
holiday
 in one of the Australian sanctum, which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them the highest visitors. Less than 2%
from
Change preposition
of
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 that number, European tourists
also
 dominated that place since 35% of the population are
also
 going there.
In addition
, the probability
to meet
Change preposition
of meeting
show examples
 visitors from the U.S. or other countries on
the
Change the word
their
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stays
Fix the agreement mistake
stay
show examples
 is not high, since there are only 18% and 10% of them
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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visit the place. Regarding their
holiday
 style,
although
 visitors from America tend to have seven days longer
of
Change preposition
apply
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holiday
 period rather than Asian
people
, both of them prefer to stay in up to 3-star hotels and do similar sightseeing
activity
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activities
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.
On the other hand
, tourists from Europe and other regions accommodate themselves in a camp or campervan and share similar hobbies to do beach activities during their vacation, with the discrepancy
for
Change preposition
of
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 six days longer for Europeans regarding the length of
staying
Replace the word
stay
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, holiday with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 3 times.
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