Some people think that parents have a great influence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Opinion is divided with one group believing that parental figures have the most impact on the development of their offspring
whereas
others are of the view that broadcasted communication has far more impact. This
essay will consider both
points of view and then
provide my perspective which is that both
have a part to play.
There are two main points supporting the contention that parents
play the biggest part in a child’s development. The main reason for believing this
is that parents
are best placed to model appropriate behaviour. Children
living in close proximity to their parents
are directly exposed to the behaviour exhibited by those whom they admire the most. It is also
possible to say that children
will learn basic budgetary skills from their parents
which are essential to their survival as adults. Through observation, children
will learn appropriate ways to spend and save money which will guide them throughout their future lives.
On the other hand
, it is also
possible to make an opposing case. It is often argued that multi-media
Correct your spelling
multimedia
such
as television directly impacts children
’s behaviour. Watching war movies, for instance
, inspires children
and glorifies violence. The proof is evident all around us as increased displays of gratuitous violence seem to go hand in hand with increasing rates of violent crimes being committed by young people. An additional point is the clothing preferences of children
. A particularly good example here is the fact that children
always pressure parents
to buy clothing displaying their superheroes which is a clear demonstration of how influential the media is as parents
would naturally want to buy the cheaper functional items.
In conclusion, I believe both
arguments have their merits. On balance, however
, I feel that both
parents
and the media are both
influential. This
is because I feel that it is impossible to isolate children
from outside influence and media brings that influence into children
’s homes.Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction effectively outlines the essay, setting a balanced stage for discussion. To further enhance this, ensure your conclusion mirrors this balance explicitly, tying your opinion back to the arguments presented seamlessly.
Cohesion
You've structured your essay logically, making it easy to follow. To improve, consider using more varied transition phrases between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader more smoothly through your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Your essay comprehensively addresses the task, presenting a nuanced view. For higher scores, integrate more specific examples to substantiate your claims, especially when discussing the impact of parents and media. This depth of evidence will strengthen your argument and clarity.
Task Response
Balanced discussion of both viewpoints before stating a considered opinion.
Coherence
Clear paragraph structure, with each one focused on a specific aspect of the argument.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples, particularly in discussing the influence of media through war movies and superhero clothing. Try to mirror this specificity when discussing parental influence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.