Some people think that parents have a great influence on their children. Others believe that the media is a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Opinion is divided with one group believing that parental figures have the most impact on the development of their offspring
whereas
others are of the view that broadcasted communication has far more impact. Linking Words
This
essay will consider Linking Words
both
points of view and Use synonyms
then
provide my perspective which is that Linking Words
both
have a part to play.
There are two main points supporting the contention that Use synonyms
parents
play the biggest part in a child’s development. The main reason for believing Use synonyms
this
is that Linking Words
parents
are best placed to model appropriate behaviour. Use synonyms
Children
living in close proximity to their Use synonyms
parents
are directly exposed to the behaviour exhibited by those whom they admire the most. It is Use synonyms
also
possible to say that Linking Words
children
will learn basic budgetary skills from their Use synonyms
parents
which are essential to their survival as adults. Through observation, Use synonyms
children
will learn appropriate ways to spend and save money which will guide them throughout their future lives.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, it is Linking Words
also
possible to make an opposing case. It is often argued thatLinking Words
multi-media
Correct your spelling
multimedia
such
as television directly impacts Linking Words
children
’s behaviour. Watching war movies, Use synonyms
for instance
, inspires Linking Words
children
and glorifies violence. The proof is evident all around us as increased displays of gratuitous violence seem to go hand in hand with increasing rates of violent crimes being committed by young people. An additional point is the clothing preferences of Use synonyms
children
. A particularly good example here is the fact that Use synonyms
children
always pressure Use synonyms
parents
to buy clothing displaying their superheroes which is a clear demonstration of how influential the media is as Use synonyms
parents
would naturally want to buy the cheaper functional items.
In conclusion, I believe Use synonyms
both
arguments have their merits. On balance, Use synonyms
however
, I feel that Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
parents
and the media are Use synonyms
both
influential. Use synonyms
This
is because I feel that it is impossible to isolate Linking Words
children
from outside influence and media brings that influence into Use synonyms
children
’s homes.Use synonyms
Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction effectively outlines the essay, setting a balanced stage for discussion. To further enhance this, ensure your conclusion mirrors this balance explicitly, tying your opinion back to the arguments presented seamlessly.
Cohesion
You've structured your essay logically, making it easy to follow. To improve, consider using more varied transition phrases between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader more smoothly through your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Your essay comprehensively addresses the task, presenting a nuanced view. For higher scores, integrate more specific examples to substantiate your claims, especially when discussing the impact of parents and media. This depth of evidence will strengthen your argument and clarity.
Task Response
Balanced discussion of both viewpoints before stating a considered opinion.
Coherence
Clear paragraph structure, with each one focused on a specific aspect of the argument.
Use of Examples
Effective use of examples, particularly in discussing the influence of media through war movies and superhero clothing. Try to mirror this specificity when discussing parental influence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.