IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in rural areas. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#minutes #topic #people #cities #places #areas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every man comes to
this
Linking Words
 question sometimes: what is the best place to live? Living a active live in a busy town or having more relaxed lifetime in the remote area. Today we are going to discuss both sides. On the one hand we got people who prefer cities more. Pros are obvious: only living in a big
city
Use synonyms
 you are having all neccesary things
such
Linking Words
 as medical centers, public transport. Shools and all other accommodation in a close access. You don't have to spend hours to commute to work, or to store. Morever, living in the
city
Use synonyms
 could be more enjoyable because there you have different ways to have fun: restaurants, cafes, theaters, cinemas etc.
In addition
Linking Words
 living in a town you got more opportunities to find job with a larger salary, to let yourself a Better and more expensive holiday, education etc. As living the busy life in a
city
Use synonyms
 is considered we should pass to a rural areas locals. For them personal area intimicy could matter. Living in rural areas you have more time with yourself than in a
city
Use synonyms
, so it could cause productivy and creativity increase. Another point for it is healthy environment. No industries and enomerous count of cars poisoning air with it gasses and plenty of gardening make your lungs thankful.
Although
Linking Words
, village locals don't have a big choice in their shopes, any way all food represented there is totally natural so it make you having less stomach illnesses.
To conclude
Linking Words
 both sides I should give my opinion, and I have to say no doubts it is better to have a chance to live In the
city
Use synonyms
 and in the village at the same time.
For example
Linking Words
 you can live in a town in weekdays - working and enjoying the
city
Use synonyms
 treasures. And your weekends could be spent in a villages - with can help you relax, reload your brains after complicated five days and get ready for a new chalangable days
Submitted by ulasasha3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure that your introduction more clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. The current introduction is informal and lacks a clear position.
Paragraph Structure
Align paragraphs with clear topic sentences and maintain a logical flow between ideas. The current structure could be improved by clearly distinguishing pros and cons and avoiding jumps between them without clear transitions.
Conclusion
Include a conclusion that restates your opinion and summarizes both views succinctly. The current conclusion is informal and fails to provide a clear summary of the discussed points.
Cohesive Devices
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, therefore) to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. The essay lacks smooth transitions between points and paragraphs.
Grammar & Spelling
Check for minor grammatical and spelling errors that can detract from the overall quality of the essay. Consider using tools or a proofreader for polishing.
Task Response
Provide specific examples to support points made, which can make the argument more persuasive. Current examples are quite general.
Tone & Vocabulary
Work on a more formal tone and more varied vocabulary to express ideas. The current writing style is slightly informal for an IELTS essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: