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Writing Samples
Band 6

22/1 The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.

22/1 The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.
#information #price #bananas #four #countries
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This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the different prices of bananas for each kilogram in Japan, France,
Germany
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 and
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 from 1994 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data reveals the prices fluctuated in Japan and France,
in contrast
Linking Words
, there were no significant changes in
Germany
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 and
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 throughout the period. In the first year, the
price
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 was about 1.8 US
dollars
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 in Japan,
however
Linking Words
, the number surged to nearly 3
dollars
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next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year.
Then
Linking Words
 it dropped to 2
dollars
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 and slightly fluctuated until
the
Remove the article
apply
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it dipped in 2001, which decreased to about 1.6
dollars
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. After the dip, the
price
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 grew to 2.5 in 2004.
Similarly
Linking Words
, France's
price
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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 fluctuated dramatically in the
last
Linking Words
 5 years. In
this
Linking Words
 period, it started at 1.6
dollars
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, the lowest
price
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 was 1
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dollars
Change to a singular noun
dollar
show examples
 in 2003, and the highest was 1.8 in 2001.
In contrast
Linking Words
, both
Germany
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 and
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 had no obvious fluctuation over the period.
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USA
Correct article usage
The USA
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 started at nearly 1
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dollars
Change to a singular noun
dollar
show examples
 and ended up at 1.1
dollars
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,
similarly
Linking Words
, the
price
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 in
Germany
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 was 1.4
dollars
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 and became 1.2
dollars
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, last, similarly".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, usa, price, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "dipped" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • price fluctuation
  • steady increase/decrease
  • significant rise/drop
  • trend
  • noticeable
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • highest
  • lowest
  • throughout the period
  • stable
  • volatile
  • potential reasons
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