22/1 The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.

22/1 The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.
This
line graph illustrates the different prices of bananas for each kilogram in Japan, France,
Germany
and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
from 1994 to 2004.
Overall
, the data reveals the prices fluctuated in Japan and France,
in contrast
, there were no significant changes in
Germany
and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
throughout the period. In the first year, the
price
was about 1.8 US
dollars
in Japan,
however
, the number surged to nearly 3
dollars
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
year.
Then
it dropped to 2
dollars
and slightly fluctuated until
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
it dipped in 2001, which decreased to about 1.6
dollars
. After the dip, the
price
grew to 2.5 in 2004.
Similarly
, France's
price
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
fluctuated dramatically in the
last
5 years. In
this
period, it started at 1.6
dollars
, the lowest
price
was 1
dollars
Change to a singular noun
dollar
show examples
in 2003, and the highest was 1.8 in 2001.
In contrast
, both
Germany
and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
had no obvious fluctuation over the period.
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
started at nearly 1
dollars
Change to a singular noun
dollar
show examples
and ended up at 1.1
dollars
,
similarly
, the
price
in
Germany
was 1.4
dollars
and became 1.2
dollars
in the
last
year.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, last, similarly".
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, usa, price, dollars with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "dipped" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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