IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
#amount #money #children’s #charity #usa #year
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The two pie charts denote
incomes
Correct article usage
the incomes
show examples
 and outcomes
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
charity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 children in the USA in one year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 of revenue sources is $53,561,580, and
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 of expenditures is %53,224,896. There funds that are obtained by children's
charity
Fix the agreement mistake
charities
show examples
 are from several
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
. The highest donation is donated food in the amount of 86.6%.
Community
Add an article
The community
show examples
 contributes to
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 some grants with
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
10.4
Change preposition
of 10.4
show examples
%.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, there is a program
that is
Linking Words
 performed by
children's
Capitalize word
Children's
show examples
bounty
Capitalize word
Bounty
show examples
 that acquires 2.2% foundations. Investment income and government grants possess the same value
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 0.2%, and the leftover is
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
totally
Replace the word
total
show examples
0.4
Change preposition
of 0.4
show examples
% from other income. There are three funds spent in one year. Almost all of the money
allocates
Wrong verb form
is allocated
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 program services with
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
totally
Replace the word
total
show examples
95.8
Change preposition
of 95.8
show examples
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 other sectors do not attain one in twenty
such
Linking Words
 as fundraising and management and general. Where, fundraising is only 2.6%, and management and general
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 scrimp
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1.6
portion
Change to a plural noun
portions
show examples
.
Submitted by fifi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • charity
  • non-profit organization
  • funds
  • revenue
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising
  • expenditure
  • allocations
  • administrative costs
  • program services
  • beneficiaries
  • financial year
  • breakdown
  • percentage
  • portion
  • sector
  • philanthropy
  • budgeting
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