It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong. Purnishment is important to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of purnishment should Patent and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviours to children?

#children #difference #right #purnishment #distinction #sort #patent #teachers #behaviours

There is an ongoing debate about

punishment

and whether it can pave the way to teach kids how to distinguish

right

and wrong. My perspective is,

although

punishment

can be effective

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show examples

some

ocasions

Correct your spelling

occasions

locations

, using harsh ones can be

distructive

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destructive

for the

childrens

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children's

show examples

mental health and

olders

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older

holders

must use

altenative

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alternative

methods.

To begin

with, excessive punishments can have

numerose

Correct your spelling

numerous

drawbacks.

First,

it might lead to fear rather than understanding of

right

and wrong.

For example

, statistics

reveals

Correct subject-verb agreement

reveal

show examples

that students who are under harsh

punishment

are more

affraid

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afraid

of their teacher ,

thus

the level of their knowledge can be compromised.

Moreover

, these punishments may

caues

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cause

causes

huge psychological damage

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show examples

children which can lead to

unsatisfiying

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unsatisfying

satisfying

mental health in their future lives.

Therefore

this

matter can not contribute individuals to

find

Wrong verb form

finding

show examples

true and

fauls

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false

However

, utilising qualified methods like positive

reinforcment

Correct your spelling

reinforcement

as an alternative

for

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show examples

harsh

punishment

leads to

Add an article

a more

show examples

suitable environment. If parents and teachers were able to use a

reinforcment

Correct your spelling

reinforcement

which was

age-apropriate

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age-appropriate

and constructive, the level of wisdom would have

rose

Change the verb form

risen

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. The more children are

tought

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taught

thought

about the consequences of their actions, the more

precautios

Correct your spelling

precautions

precautious

they may

get

Verb problem

take

show examples

This

will result in

Correct article usage

a well-mannerd

show examples

well-mannerd

Correct your spelling

well-mannered

well-manner

well-manners

and well-educated community who are more keen to avoid miss behave.

Therefore

this

reienforcment

Correct your spelling

reinforcement

can lead to children possessing a

sustainble

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sustainable

toturing

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torturing

tutoring

system both in their house and in the school to understand

right

and wrong. In conclusion, my point of view is

the

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that

show examples

punishments can not show

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

right

and wrong if they are harsh and excessive.

Consequently

, adults must use

altenative

Correct your spelling

alternative

ways like positive

reienforcment

Correct your spelling

reinforcement

which do not humiliate individuals and will encourage them to behave.

Submitted by imaneslampanahiep on Mon Jan 22 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the task consistently. The essay responds to the topic but could integrate the two questions more fluidly throughout the essay rather than addressing them separately.

task achievement

Develop paragraphs with clear main ideas, and ensure that each paragraph contains a topic sentence followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence to reinforce the main point.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument and demonstrate understanding of the topic. Examples can be from personal experience, observed phenomena, or hypothetical situations, but they must be relevant to the argument.

coherence and cohesion

Structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs but avoid overusing them.

coherence and cohesion

When presenting a viewpoint, contrast it with the opposing view clearly to show the range of perspectives and support your argument. Remember to reference the other side, even if you disagree, to showcase a balanced analysis.

coherence and cohesion

Proofread your essay to check for spelling and grammatical errors that may detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Correct word forms and punctuation are essential for clear communication.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Accountability
Consequences
Reinforcing
Excessive
Harsh
Resentment
Psychological damage
Positive reinforcement
Constructive
Humiliation
Age-appropriate
Consistent rules
Educative approach
Cultural norms
Societal norms
Administrating punishment
Fairness
Understanding
Behavioral correction
Disciplinary actions

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