The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, advancements in technology have brought us the easiness of accessing information about
people
in other nations
through many types of mass media. At the same time, it is considered trivia for individuals to arrange travel abroad. While
there are valid arguments from the critics about this
development, I personally believe the positive impacts outweigh the negative ones.
On one hand, being defensive of something unknown is an instinct imprinted in our blood. Naturally, this
pushes us to live together in a group within a closed border in order to gain protection. However
, there are not many parties capable of reaching self-sufficiency and raising the need to get that externally. The history of humankind showed us, that this
need built an aggressive tension between nations
, which in the end led us to World War I and II.
Learning from that mistake, humans should risk the safety of a nation's privateness to try to understand and care about others. Reading news about them or even visiting them are great ways to increase empathy for outside nations
. Furthermore
, those activities would also
create trust and lead to strategic partnerships which is going to be beneficial for all of us. For example
, the trade of culture and food was proven effective in increasing the stickiness of people
from different backgrounds.
To conclude
, while
the simplicity of international travel and accessing people
from other nations
is increasing the risk to the nation's security, the advantages really strongly overbalance the former arguments. If, in the future, nations
could filter the information and the people
properly, the disadvantages would fall all the way.Submitted by gurunnevada on
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Task Achievement
Make sure to address the essay prompt directly and ensure that your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is clear throughout the essay. Maintain a well-balanced argument to fully cover the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on logically organizing your ideas and maintaining clear paragraphing. Each main point should be presented in a separate paragraph with clear topic sentences.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more detailed, specific examples rather than general statements. Real-world examples and data can strengthen the argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs more effectively. While some are present, more varied and nuanced use can enhance the readability and flow of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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