IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Urban problems Many cities have become less pleasant places to live in recent years. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#cities #places #years
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Nowadays, gathering the comfort of a house to live in
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 a bit difficult. There are several factors that cause
this
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 to happen. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the causes and provide solutions to the given topics.
To begin
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 with, there are a number of reasons that impact the quality of life in a city.
For instance
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, overpopulation, which means increased demand for housing and transport, was one of the main causes of declining living standards. The cities need more space
due to
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 the high demand for housing in urban areas, which has caused a rise in housing costs.
Therefore
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, a small number of public transportation affects travelling on the street. In detail, many people have to go to work in companies and businesses at the same point.
Additionally
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, urban development can magnify the risk of environmental problems
such
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 as air pollution, noise, water quality and waste disposal. Regarding the solutions to the mentioned problems, regulating sustainable urban planning is a viable option.
For example
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, the government should promote affordable housing options and promote environmental awareness among city residents.
Initially
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, it is important to focus on well-designed regulations for built-up areas
while
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also
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 preserving natural areas in the capital.
On the other hand
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, giving more public transportation which can be fixed by having various forms of public transportation to create a better quality of life.
Moreover
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, it can still decrease air pollution from the street. In conclusion, applying for services can convince people to enjoy their life, which is the comfort housing region.
Submitted by rossdannisa on

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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay would benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion. The introduction should more explicitly state the key causes and solutions to urban problems, and the conclusion should more effectively summarize the main points of the essay and restate the writer's position.
Logical Structure
To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the following sentences directly support that topic. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Specific Examples
The essay needs to include more specific examples to support the points made. Use real-world examples or data to strengthen the arguments and make them more compelling.
Task Achievement
To increase the score in task achievement, make sure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Include a more detailed explanation of the causes and develop each solution more comprehensively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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