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Band 6.5

The bar chart illustrate the three cumputer packages were downloaded through internet at different times in per week (from week1 to week5).

The bar chart illustrate the three cumputer packages were downloaded through internet at different times in per week (from week1 to week5).
#bar #three #cumputer #packages #internet #times #week
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the three
cumputer
Correct your spelling
computer
 packages
were
Correct pronoun usage
that were
show examples
 downloaded through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 at different times
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per
week
 (from
week1
Correct your spelling
week 1
 to
week5
Correct your spelling
week 5
).
Overall
, a glance at the bar chart reveals that the
activex
Correct your spelling
ActiveX
 was highest in 5 weeks, and it was a
panctual
Correct your spelling
punctual
 trend.
Whereas
, the Java increased gradually from
week1
Correct your spelling
week 1
 to
week5
Correct your spelling
week 5
.
According to
week1
Correct your spelling
week 1
, the three computers had the best function because they were just under
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
80. In terms of
net
Add an article
the net
show examples
, the
differeces
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
 between
week3
Correct your spelling
week 3
 and week5
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 was maximum, and it saw a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 increase at just over 40. with regard to the java, it
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
gragually
Correct your spelling
gradually
,
to begin
 at around 40, and ends at
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 80.
in contrast
 to
net
Add an article
the net
show examples
, which experienced a significant increase until
week3
Correct your spelling
week 3
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 lowest point at just over 0 over 5 weeks. Activex grew slightly from
week1
Correct your spelling
week 1
 to
week3
Correct your spelling
week 3
 at almost 120
then
 it
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 in
week4
Correct your spelling
week 4
 and
finally
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak at 120.
Submitted by hastytajassosy on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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