In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

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It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school.

This

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trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel but is

also

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evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time. The reasons for

this

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trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world.

By contrast

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, those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research,

as well as

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giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.

However

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, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to re-adapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job or to do something completely different from a university course. But

overall

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, I think

this

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is less likely today when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career. My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons.

That is

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the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with

such

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a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain

this

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Submitted by binyang212 on Tue Jan 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph clearly introduces its main idea and that there is a smooth transition between paragraphs. Use cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Although the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, they could be strengthened to better encapsulate the key advantages and disadvantages discussed in the essay. Summarize the main points more succinctly in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

While main points are supported, it would be beneficial to include more specific examples or evidence to reinforce the arguments made about the advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off.

task achievement

Your response to the task is competent, but try to address all parts of the prompt more evenly to strengthen your argument. Ensure that both advantages and disadvantages are fully explored and balanced.

task achievement

Ideas within the essay are clear and comprehensive. To further improve, ensure that each main idea is fully developed with in-depth analysis and discussion.

task achievement

To improve the relevance and impact of your examples, include personal experiences or anecdotal evidence, statistical data, or notable case studies to substantiate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that governments should spend money on the arts. Others assert that this money should be used to improve public services and infrastructure. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced from all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

some poeple think that children should onle read academic book.other believe that reading books for pleasure is equally improtant.Disvuss both view and give your opinion.