In the past people could only eat food grown locally and in the season. Now it is possible to have any kind of food from all over the world at any time of the year. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Unlike in the past day, individuals all over the world can obtain any variety of
food
regardless of season.
This
phenomenon has pros and cons, but
this
essay will contend that, on balance, the advantages of the statement outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand,
this
trend can have detrimental influences on people's organisms. Most non-seasonal foods are fabricated goods and there is a possibility that their gene can be modified.
Therefore
, we can not only get beneficial vitamins and nutrients, but
also
it can affect our health system in a negative way.
Nevertheless
, the present experience shows that even if nations consume non-seasonal foods, their immune system is not damaged hazardously. Despite
this
, today's generation is healthier than past generations.
On the other hand
, I am of the view that
this
trend will bring more advantages for everyone.
Firstly
, society sometimes needs some kind of
food
, which has not grown yet in a nearby environment, which can be a solution for their illness.
For instance
, when you get a cold, one of the most effective treatments is consuming hot tea with strawberry jam and if you are in the winter season it will be hard to find needed
food
unless public stores sell the same thing which originated from different parts of the world. Another advantage is that, as we know, women can demand any kind of
food
they want, even
food
which is not grown locally, during their pregnancy.
Nonetheless
, accessing any kind of
food
from different places in the world can solve
this
problem either. In conclusion, irrespective of the minor problems, I consider the merits,
such
as treatments for disease and meeting needs for pregnancy, outweigh the demerits.
Submitted by nurbala788788 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear logical structure throughout the essay. Your paragraphs each have a central idea, but the logical flow could be improved with better connecting phrases and topic sentences that provide smoother transitions between concepts.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, ensure you are bookending your essay effectively. Your introduction should outline the key points you will discuss, while your conclusion should summarize them without introducing new information. You have the structure present, but it can be more concise and impactful.
coherence cohesion
When supporting your main points, be sure to develop each one with specific details, explanations, and examples. Some points in the essay are briefly mentioned without being fully explored or explained. Expanding these points will strengthen your argumentation and improve cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay needs to fully respond to all parts of the task. This includes discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally and stating a clear position. Your position is clear, but the balance between the two sides could be more equal to show a full response.
task achievement
Continue to communicate clear and comprehensive ideas, but aim for more depth and development in each paragraph. This will help demonstrate an understanding of the topic and a well-rounded consideration of the issue at hand.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points, but ensure that they directly relate to and substantiate the idea of the paragraph. While some examples are provided, they could be more directly connected to the argument you are making to improve relevancy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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