The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, the possibility to explore other nations' lives has become accessible with the wider development of social media and easier international travel.

This

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essay holds the view that it brings more upsides and more details will be elaborated on in the following paragraphs. The easier access to knowing how other societies brings some advantages.

Firstly

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, communities who have different nationalities can make contact with each other without any obstruction.

Thus

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, will build a good relationship between the folk who speak different languages. When there is a plan to visit a homey,

for example

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, one of them who comes from Indonesia and wants to travel to South Korea would ask for advice from his/her Korean friends. By utilizing the fastest of social news, they can keep updating the news from each other.

Hence

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, their friendship can be long-lasting over the period.

In addition

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, accessible information about publishing could motivate other countries to learn new things. Some of society could learn how a nation became successful, leading them to apply the same thing to their lands. The more they are addicted, the wider they learn.

For instance

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, the pattern of Finlandia's successful education applied to Indonesia's schools.

Hence

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, it makes the quality of education in Indonesia increase. The simplified access, yet, there is a slight impact which negatively to the population in an agrarian

such

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as internet crime by the irresponsible public.

However

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, it can not be a big concern since the integrated cyber can be against these issues.

Consequently

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, the negative impact still can be defeated. In conclusion, I believe the advantages outweigh the drawbacks because the ease of travelling and spreading social publishing could positively impact society's activity. Even though there is still a slightly negative side, it could be overcome by the integration of national cyber which can defeat the concern.

Nabillaa808Tue Jan 23 2024

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introduction

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. While your introduction does this, it could benefit from a more nuanced thesis statement that outlines your essay's structure.

task response

Maintain focus on the prompt throughout your essay. While your essay touches on the advantages outweighing the disadvantages, reiterate this stance in every main paragraph to strengthen the task response.

coherence

Provide clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to guide the reader and maintain relevance.

language

Implement varied and precise vocabulary to avoid repetition and to express ideas more clearly and accurately.

examples

Use specific and detailed examples to support each point you make. While you provide some examples, these could be further elaborated to enhance the effectiveness of your points.

conclusion

Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the thesis, reinforcing your stance presented in the introduction.

grammar

Be attentive to grammatical accuracy to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural exchange
Globalization
Stereotypes
Tourism industry
Cross-cultural communication
Economic disparity
Cultural heritage
Ecological footprint
Ethnocentrism
Pandemic
Cultural assimilation
Sustainable travel
Geopolitical
Multiculturalism
International cooperation

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The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In order to learn the way other people in the world live,it is better to look at flim and video records than written docuemnts.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people argue that because the internet make it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. instead they should focus on developing children's skills and potential, and their relationships with other people. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expansive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that it is better to live in the city while others believe that life better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion?