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Band 3.5

An incraesing number of people want to buy clothes, shoes and other items produced by famous international brands. Why is this? do you think it is a posituve or a negative development?

#people #clothes #shoes #items #brands #posituve #development
Nowadays, more and more people can afford fashion
items
 produced by famous international brands. In
this
 essay, I will argue that it is a positive development to buy designers' products. People like to own clothes and accessories from famous brands for different reasons.
Such
 as, a lot
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 want to state their social status and wealth. Some may just want to experience high quality and good fashionable designs.
Firstly
, fashion lovers will have wider selections from well-known brands.
For example
, Rayban
eyewears
Correct your spelling
eyewear
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 its customers with huge selections
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 sunglasses and glass frames. Rayban
product's
Change noun form
product
show examples
 categories are for all genders, ages and various usage purposes. By
this
, shoppers will
be
Verb problem
find it
show examples
 easier to select their style of choice which makes them happy.
Secondly
, purchasing luxury
items
 can be a type of investment. It is common that high-end designer
bags
 and watches can be resell with good prices.
For instance
, Hermes
bags
 are the dream
bags
 for many women
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 values. Hermes bag owners can sell their
bags
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 better prices as
this
 product keeps increasing in price over the years.
Thus
, owning luxury
items
 can be a good investment. In conclusion, buying famous international branda fashion
items
 not only allows shoppers to enjoy products with good quality, styles and selections
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 brings profits to the owners if they have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right choice of purchase.
Submitted by thanhvan230688 on

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Specific Examples
Ensure that each main point in your body paragraphs is expanded with clear explanations and relevant, specific examples. Try to include at least one detailed example per paragraph to strengthen your argument and provide concrete evidence for your claims.
Logical Structure
Improve the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next, and that your ideas are organized in a logical order. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Overall, your ideas are relevant and address the prompt, but aim for a deeper exploration of the topic. Consider both sides of the argument to show a more balanced view, which could include potential downsides of the popularity of international brands as well as the positives.
Language Use
Remember to use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to convey your points clearly. Avoid repeating the same words and phrases, and proofread your essay to correct any grammatical errors or awkward phrasing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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