Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, a lot of countries are becoming identical and it
caused
Verb problem
is
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significantly
Change the word
significant
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to
world
Add an article
the world
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market. Because now people can buy other country’s products in their own state. From my point of view, it is beneficial development. Because you do not even need to go to other country and waste your time to thing. The second reason is,
it
Correct word choice
that it
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will improve
economy
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the economy
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of each region. The first reason,
why
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is why
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it is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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creation. Companies have their own franchise to sell their products in other countries.
In addition
, you can purchase things without leaving your own state.
For example
, Dior Sauvage
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
creating
Wrong verb form
created
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in France not in Kazakhstan. It can sell
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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products to us
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because they got a franchise. As it is obvious, now we can just go to their shops and buy it. The second cause,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is that
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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of republics will increase. As it is obvious, from
law
Correct article usage
the law
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subject we have taxes for businesses.
However
, it says that when you export your product you will pay taxes to both countries, yours and
clients
Correct pronoun usage
your clients
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.
For example
, if I ordered something from Adidas, that company would pay taxes to places and
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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to
Change preposition
on
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both sides. In conclusion, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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being similar to each country
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
amazing
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an amazing
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development.
Cause
Correct your spelling
Because
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it will minimise wasting time and will
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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up exchequer of each region.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly addresses the topic and your standpoint. It should set the context and outline the main points to be discussed.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more fully with detailed explanations and concrete examples to support your argument. Avoid general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by organizing your ideas more logically and making better use of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Remember to have a balanced discussion if the question asks for both the positive and negative aspects. If you only discuss one side, this can limit your task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying sentence structure to demonstrate language flexibility and control.
Coherence and Cohesion
End your essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion on the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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