IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Educaiton should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All levels of educaiton, from primary school to tertiary education, should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion

#educaiton #people #backgrounds #levels #school #education
it is known that
Correct article usage
the educaiton
show examples
educaiton
Correct your spelling
education
system
 of democratic countries
shold
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should
 be without
money
, that
time
 they can be rich and
devolop
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develop
developed
country
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countries
show examples
. some
eople
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people
 believe that if the
system
be
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is
show examples
 is get some
money
; that
time
 it will be
good
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a good
show examples
coulaty
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county
country
 for learners. I do not agree that
,
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apply
show examples
 I going to give reasons in
ech
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each
pragraph
Correct your spelling
paragraph
 in
this
 essay. on the one hand, if
Correct article usage
the educaiton
show examples
educaiton
Correct your spelling
education
system
get
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gets
show examples
money
 from primary school to
univercity
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university
,
that
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at that
show examples
time
 some
sudent
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student
students
 can not get good education because all teachers will focus on the rich students.
as
Capitalize word
As
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 everybody
known
Wrong verb form
knows
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, everybody
want
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wants
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 to earn big
money
to
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for
show examples
 their
survivor
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survivors
show examples
 or well and lux life.
for example
, one of my
friend
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friends
show examples
 who is teacher of biology at
collage
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college
show examples
. once
time
 he said
me
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to me
show examples
, ''
our
Capitalize word
Our
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 does not give enough
money
 to teachers. that's why most
of
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apply
show examples
teachers
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
privete
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private
course
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courses
show examples
 to their students, of curse, we
are focus
Change the verb form
are focused
are focusing
show examples
 on the student who
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
privite
Correct your spelling
private
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 from us
unfortunalty
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
unfortunate
'' the example show us, if we need
power
Replace the word
powerful
show examples
 schools we have to make the education
system
 free.
Submitted by ares.grup on

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction does not clearly set out the essay's topic or your position, resulting in a poor start to the argument. The conclusion is non-existent, failing to summarize the essay's main points or restate your stance.
logical structure
The essay lacks clear main ideas and logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, followed by an explanation and preferably an example. Use cohesive devices to connect your ideas and paragraphs.
supported main points
Support your main points with relevant, detailed examples. Personal stories or hypothetical situations can be effective, but they should clearly relate to your argument and be explained in a way that strengthens your overall point.
complete response
The essay fails to fully expand on the topic and missed addressing the issue from both sides or considering differing viewpoints. To improve, make sure to cover all parts of the task, providing a balanced view before stating your position.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by being specific and direct. Avoid vague statements, and aim to expand your ideas with clear explanations and examples that directly support your stance on the topic.
relevant specific examples
While your example is relevant, its effectiveness is weakened by the lack of clarity and detail. Enhance your examples by clearly explaining how they support your argument and choosing specific, pertinent instances.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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