online shopping has various advantages for consumers but may also have disadvantages, such as the loss of some individual privacy. do the advantages of online shopping for the consumers outweight the disadvantages ?
Some authorities think that it is more favourable for individuals to buy products using online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
whereas
the
others Correct article usage
apply
opposite
Replace the word
oppose
this
view because of private information privacy. This
essay will argue that the advantages of this
outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate that the habbit of purchasing good
through Fix the agreement mistake
goods
internet
platform is Correct article usage
an internet
convenience
for Replace the word
convenient
customer
and allows them to get cheap Fix the agreement mistake
customers
product
with high quality, followed by an analysis of how the primary disadvantage, namely private information privacy could be Fix the agreement mistake
products
adressed
.
The main reason to start buying products by using internet software is enabling Correct your spelling
addressed
buyer
to get Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
product
with Fix the agreement mistake
products
less price
yet higher quality than buying Fix the agreement mistake
lower prices
from
Change preposition
apply
offlines
. Correct your spelling
offline
That is
to say that with the advancement of technology, producer
or Fix the agreement mistake
producers
distributor
can directly sell their products to Fix the agreement mistake
distributors
customer
, and cut the distribution process to provide more competitive Fix the agreement mistake
customers
price
. Fix the agreement mistake
prices
For example
, people in United
States can get Correct article usage
the United
product
from China through Alibaba which is the biggest online marketplace in that country with the price of the Fix the agreement mistake
products
product
offered three times lower than the ones sold in giant store
. Fix the agreement mistake
stores
In addition
, purchasing goods by using online
store is very easy to use, and people can do Correct article usage
an online
this
activity just from their smartphone or laptop and wait their
inquiry sent, Change preposition
for their
instead
of driving to offline
store Correct article usage
an offline
that
will take time, effort and energy.
Those opposed to Correct pronoun usage
which
this
say that it causes a certain amount of data
loss. Although
this
can be happen
because buyer Change the verb form
happen
have
to submit their Change the verb form
has
data
, it could be resolved by strengthening the system security. For instance
, Amazon and tokopedia which are popular intenet
marketplaces, Correct your spelling
Internet
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
improve
their system security by using two-factor Change the verb form
improved
autherization
for their user Correct your spelling
authentication
authorization
that
lead to Correct pronoun usage
which
lower
risk of Correct article usage
a lower
data
breech
and increasing Correct your spelling
breach
of
user trust.
In conclusion, the fact that many marketplace software like Change preposition
in
amazon
and Capitalize word
Amazon
tokopedia
are using strong security Change the capitalization
Tokopedia
system
and two-factor Fix the agreement mistake
systems
autherization
for the safety of personal information clearly Correct your spelling
authorisation
outweights
the flawed argument that it Correct your spelling
outweighs
leak
Change the verb form
leaks
someone
Change noun form
someone's
data
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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language
Make sure to proofread the essay for grammatical accuracy and avoid incorrect word forms or usage errors.
vocabulary
Use a broader range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition of simple words.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing clearer topic sentences to establish the content and direction of each paragraph.
task achievement
Ensure all arguments and examples are fully fleshed out to adequately support your points.
task achievement
Balance the discussion of advantages and disadvantages to provide a more comprehensive argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively by using paragraphs strategically and employing a range of linking words.
language
Avoid spelling and punctuation errors to enhance the readability of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...