IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, all countries are facing a rising
number
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 of
problems
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 in environmental and social areas. My
country
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 is not an exception and, based on my assumption, in the next ten years, we can expect a rapid decline in the young population and pollution caused by producing an excessive amount of trash. In
this
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 essay, I want to discover these
problems
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 and possible solutions. One of the tremendous challenges, my
country
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 should overcome in the next years, is a demographic situation, manifested in the increasing average age of the population. One of the factors that contribute to
this
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 is that families more and more opt for a single-child or child-free lifestyle. Based on the recent statistics, the average
number
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 of children per family has got to a historical minimum of 1.8. From my point of view, the government should provide more financial support to young families and increase the
number
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 of
kindergardens
Correct your spelling
kindergartens
kindergarten
 to allow parents to return to work.
Secondly
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, my
country
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 already has visible
problems
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 with
garbage
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 amount and its recycling.
While
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 people produce more and more trash, the level of recycled
garbage
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 is not more than 20%.
This
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 can lead to increasing territories polluted with chemicals and plastic.
For example
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, in my city, a
garbage
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 dump territory increased twice during the
last
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 10 years and now it is on the edge of the residential areas,
as a result
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, the air and water around
this
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 territory are dirty and unpleasant. It is not an easy problem to solve and should be addressed from multiple angles, people should avoid using disposable packaging, and sort and recycle as much as they can,
moreover
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, the government should introduce programs for the utilization of existing
garbage
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 in a safe way. In conclusion, the modern world is facing an increasing
number
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 of
problems
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 related to population and the environment. For my
country
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, the most challenging will be the demographic situation and pollution caused by the growing amount of
garbage
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. From my point of view, these situations can be eliminated with the complex approach included by both individuals and the government.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to outline the ensuing discussion points.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with specific examples and elaboration in order to support your main points better.
task achievement
Aim for a more comprehensive conclusion that not only summarizes the points but also provides a clear comment on the implications or future outlook related to the topic.
task achievement
Try to quantify your arguments with data, where possible, to provide strength to your examples and overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Ecosystem
  • Renewable resources
  • Urbanization
  • Demographics
  • Healthcare system
  • Pension crisis
  • Curriculum development
  • Digital literacy
  • E-learning platforms
  • Lifelong learning
  • Public policy
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Green technology
  • Population density
  • Generational equity
  • Economic disparity
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