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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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There is a
population
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 shift in many territories in all of the world.
People
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 in rural migrate to urban. So there is a downward trend in the
population
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 of rural. Some
people
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 argue there is a positive advancement
however
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 certain individuals claim it has a negative impact. I think it is a positive development and I elaborate on my reasons in the following essay. On the opposite side,
this
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 migration gives a better job opportunity to rural
people
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.
Additionally
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, families of these
people
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 have access to better education and healthcare.
This
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 is mainly because of urban infrastructure that there is no
such
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 of it in rural areas.
Consequently
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,
this
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population
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 shift helps to the well-being of rural persons.
For example
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, a massive urbanization occurred in Iran in decade 90.
Subsequently
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,
this
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 rural-to-urban migration helps poor
people
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 to find a job and get a better lifestyle if they do not migrate, they going to be poor in their lives. On the negative side, urbanization strains urban infrastructure since a massive number of
people
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 migrate to a city
that is
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 just built for a certain amount of the
population
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.
Additionally
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, rural
people
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 lost their traditions and cultural heritage.
Consequently
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, there are a lot of mankind that they live in cities with low infrastructure
while
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 they lost their parental traditions.
For instance
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, with urbanization in Iran in decade 90,
this
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 country lost a huge traditions and heritage culture of their
people
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. In conclusion, there is rural-to-urban migration that causes positive and negative impacts.
However
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, I believe that the positive side is so important compared to the negative it.
Submitted by mkhdermani on

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grammar
It's important to use precise language and complete grammatical structures. Phrases like 'rural people' could be made clearer by rephrasing, e.g., 'people living in rural areas.' Additionally, ensure your examples are smoothly integrated into your arguments.
development
Try to develop each point more fully and include more specific examples. This will help to strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
organization
Your structure is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You maintained a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
balance
You have addressed both perspectives of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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