IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You are studying a short course in another country. Your accommodation was arranged by the course provider. But there is a major problem with the accommodation. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter, • say what the problem is describe the accommodation you thought you were getting • ask the provider to solve the problem

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Dear Mr John Harvy, I am writing to solve the problem
that is
Linking Words
 related to my accommodation under number 77 , on the 6 floor . I have arranged to the London from the USA, state Arizona . I have been studying a course in typology and world formation of English for 4 years . I have to stay here till November as now April is in the
outsite
Correct your spelling
outside
. I should stay for 8 months . The problem that I have caused here after arranging is my
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
, there is too hot from 7:00 am till 5:00 pm . There is no air conditioning ,
that
Correct word choice
so
show examples
I cannot do my home tasks and concentrate all my attention on doing research in my area .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , whenever I call administration , they do not have time to come and check it or they do not answer my calls . I have been here for more than one week and I try to call them every day,
Furtermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, I have extra work here as I have to earn money to stay here. I do not want to spend my money on
this
Linking Words
 kind of facilities here .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
thought that
accommodation
Correct article usage
the accommodation
show examples
much
Add a missing verb
was much
show examples
 bigger as I had seen the photo on the website. There was a much more beautiful atmosphere .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
thought there was a carpet that I could use without shoes , but there was no carpet anywhere.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 the air conditioner was in the photo . As I said before there are no similarities between the website and hereafter arranging I would be grateful if you would change the room or solve these problems . As I have to stay here in London till November . Now is April
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the outside. Yours sincerely, Lucy Liam

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure to your letter by separating the problem, description, and request into distinct paragraphs. This will improve the clarity of your message.
task response
Make sure to proofread your letter for spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'accomodation' should be spelled 'accommodation'.
task response
Use more varied vocabulary to express your concerns and feelings regarding the accommodation. This will enhance the tone of your letter.
task achievement
You provided a detailed account of the issues you are facing with your accommodation, which shows that you have thought carefully about your problems.
task achievement
Your letter maintains a polite and respectful tone, which is appropriate for a formal request.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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