IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous.**To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays, the phenomenon of
alternative
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 methods of medicine used in society has been increasing because of people’s belief in their effectiveness.
However
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, there’s evidence that they are not effective even at best and unpredicted potentials that could harm someone’s
health
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. I strongly agree with the notion. It’s evident that
alternative
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treatments
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 are not efficient and can be harmful because they have never been proven in medical studies. There is no scientific proof of the effectiveness in regards with
the
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apply
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alternative
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 forms of medicine which can lead to the worst possibility.
For example
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, a Leukaemia sufferer in Indonesia died in 2019 because of the regular consumption of traditional juice which leads to the illness getting worse. It appears that one of the ingredients of the traditional juice is ginger which, in scientific study, is hazardous to be consumed regularly by leukaemia sufferers. It can be seen that
this
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 treatment is ineffective because the practice is not based on scientific evidence.
In addition
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, it’s evident that some cases witnessed
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better healing process through
alternative
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treatments
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 without any surgery or hard medicines, which both are expensive, to some extent illness.
However
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, I don’t find
this
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 phenomenon convincing because there are
also
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 other cases which show the failure of
alternative
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treatments
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 which dangerous for someone’s
health
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.
Secondly
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, unconventional
treatments
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 are illegal in most countries because it considered
as
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apply
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dangerous activities. It's forbidden in some countries to generate
alternative
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treatments
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 for patients.
For instance
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, around 10 to 20 medical premises for
alternative
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treatments
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 in Australia are forced to be closed during 2015-2020.
Furthermore
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, in my opinion, people should not take risks with illegal
treatments
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 to take care of their
health
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.
To conclude
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, in my view, there are many negative developments in the use of
alternative
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treatments
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.
Moreover
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, someone’s
health
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 should be taken seriously with effective and scientific methods of treatment.

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task achievement
In your essay, it would be beneficial to clearly define some of the terms such as 'alternative forms of medicine' at the beginning to ensure the reader understands exactly what you’re discussing. This would enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on utilizing transition words and phrases more effectively to ensure a smooth flow between and within paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'However,' can sometimes feel repetitive if not varied.
task achievement
Including more recent and diverse examples can strengthen your arguments while also demonstrating awareness of current trends and scientific findings in the field of alternative medicine.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is succinct and sets up the argument clearly and effectively. It prepares the reader for the discussion to come.
introduction conclusion present
You provide a strong conclusion that wraps up the arguments nicely, reiterating your main points while affirming your stance.
relevant specific examples
You have cited specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more credible and relatable for readers.
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