IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #companies #factories #employees #countryside
There is a strong argument that shifting substantial industries and factories to rural
areas
 can be a solver for
traffic
 and housing problems in urban
areas
. I completely agree with the statement because it can reduce
traffic
congestion
 in big cities and solve problems for
workers
 to buy houses. In
this
 essay, I will discuss more details about it.
To begin
 with, moving big companies and factories to the countryside will move the
workers
 as well, and it can reduce the
workers
' population in the cities.
In addition
, the level of high
congestion
 will decrease as well.
For example
, a recent study said that the highest contributors to
traffic
 jams in urban
areas
 are
workers
, particularly in crucial times
such
 as 7 - 9 AM and 5 - 7 PM, and moving them to a country that has fewer
workers
 will be a solver. The number of
workers
 in metropolitan will be decreased and the
congestion
 in
traffic
 will go down as well because of that.
Furthermore
, working in the countryside which has less many
workers
 will be beneficial. The land houses price is not as expensive as in urban
areas
. It can be problem-solving for the
workers
 who have to shift follow their companies. They can buy houses around their company so that they do not need to spend much time going to their workplace. In conclusion, moving companies and factories to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 will have benefits for reducing the
congestion
 and housing for the
workers
, and I completely agree with that.
Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on

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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your ideas. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea followed by specific examples or explanations to support it. Try to elaborate your points further to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, improve the logical connections between your ideas. Use a range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, make sure they are clear and concise, reflecting the central argument of your essay. Aim to reinforce your stance in the conclusion by summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-life data, studies, or hypothetical situations that directly relate to your main points will make your essay stronger and more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • housing problems
  • countryside
  • large companies
  • factories
  • employees
  • urban areas
  • land availability
  • relocate
  • stimulate economic development
  • challenges
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • rural areas
What to do next:
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