Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one?

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In
this
modern era, most
students
around the world have their own mobile
phone
.
While
this
device without a doubt plays a big role in terms of safety, learning, and networking, many schools have chosen to restrict their
use
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
school grounds. In my opinion,
this
is a positive step and can bring many benefits, not only academically but
also
socially and physically. Restricting
phone
use
in the classroom itself can improve learning.
This
is simply because
without
Add the comma(s)
, without
show examples
these devices, there are fewer distractions for teachers and
students
. When a student has their
phone
in their pocket or on their lap,
for instance
, there is an irresistible urge to check
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
constantly for texts, alerts or social media updates. Even the most observant teacher cannot prevent them from sneakily checking their messages or scrolling through irrelevant materials during class. These endless distractions draw attention away from important educational matters and erode attention spans, which can have long-term effects
in
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on
show examples
academic progress. A blanket ban on phones during class frees learners from
this
compulsive checking and allows them to focus.
In addition
to banning phones in the classroom, a school that restricts their
use
outside class can
also
expect improvements in student wellbeing. By not being able to easily reach for their
phone
,
students
will have no choice but to find some other forms of entertainment.
For instance
, simply having conversations with their friends would be a way to fill in their activities
while
enhancing social skills. They
also
may
use
their lunchtime and recess to play games,
sports
Correct word choice
or sports
show examples
or simply sit and eat together. These activities are far healthier than sitting alone hunched over a screen. Without limitations enforced by the school, children simply cannot draw the line on their own
phone
use
. These social and physical benefits are only possible with strict mobile rules. In conclusion,
although
phones are a big part of our modern lives, I strongly feel that their
use
in schools should be limited. With firm boundaries and bans in some situations,
students
are able to learn better, strengthen friendships, and engage in healthier pursuits.
Submitted by tsaniaaqilau on

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task achievement
Make sure every main point is backed up with a specific example; although your arguments are clear, they would be strengthened by providing concrete illustrations or statistics to support your assertions.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed throughout.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task with a clear position throughout, but try to explore both sides of the argument to show a balanced view before concluding with your own opinion. This can offer depth and show your ability to evaluate different perspectives.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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