IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that newspaper are the best way to learn about the news. However, others believe that they can learn the news more effectively through other media. Discuss both these news and give your own opinion.

#people #newspaper #news #media
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In contemporary society, because of immense advances
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology, there is no denying that social
media
 plays an important role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 communities
such
 as learning
news
.
Therefore
, some
people
 think that the best way to study the
news
 is
Change preposition
through the
show examples
the
Change preposition
through the
show examples
 newspaper,
however
; others believe that other
media
 are more efficient than paper when they want to learn.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the controversial issue, and my opinion will be provided. On the one hand, advocates of
this
 proposition believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers are the best means to understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
news
.
This
 is because the
journals
 are delivered directly
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the government or publishing offices
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which are permitted
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 authorities,
for
this
 reason, the
journals
 allow
people
 to convince
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them, and make
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 trust
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
readers,
thus
people
trend
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to read the information from the
journals
.
On the other hand
, those who argue
this
 perspective think that they can read the information in other
media
such
 as
Googles
Fix the agreement mistake
Google
show examples
, Facebook, and other applications more efficiently than reading through paper. It is obvious that citizens can obtain the
news
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
media
 faster than
paper
Change preposition
on paper
show examples
.
For example
,
people
 who use phones to research the
news
 can immediately receive them
while
 individuals who do not use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 have to wait for the newspapers sold in
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
 or
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
their house
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
. In conclusion, some individuals think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
journals
 are the best means to learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
while
 others believe that platforms like online websites and podcasts are better ways to understand. In my view, I strongly agree with
this
 idea that social
media
 is the best way to educate because it can provide a lot of data which allows
people
 to compare data on each website.
Submitted by champperkhu on

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Introduction
Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to set up your argument and guide the reader through your essay.
Coherence
Link ideas between paragraphs using cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'Conversely' for stronger logical connections.
Examples
Elaborate on your examples by providing more details and explaining how they support your point. You can use real-world instances or hypothetical scenarios to add depth to your argument.
Task Response
Work on paraphrasing the task statement effectively. Demonstrating a range of vocabulary and sentence structures impacts the task achievement positively.
Opinion
Provide a more detailed personal opinion, considering plural perspectives before leveling on your stance to show an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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