The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's world, the percentage of obese kids in Western nations has displayed a significant growth
by
approximately 20% during the Change preposition
of
last
ten years. Many people think the cause may be the existence of large-scale takeaway or fast Linking Words
food
centres, Use synonyms
while
others believe that a few physical education Linking Words
classes
may be the major factor for children being overweight. Use synonyms
This
essay will try to outline the reasons and effects of Linking Words
this
negative trend.
Linking Words
To begin
with, nowadays, many and many people choose fast Linking Words
food
over homemade Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
due to
some Linking Words
reasons
and children from western regions are no exception. To be more clear, Fix the agreement mistake
reason
for instance
, the kids may consume fast Linking Words
food
because their Use synonyms
parents
work and do not have spare time to prepare something for them and as junk Use synonyms
food
contains a huge amount of fat and sugar offspring may get obese with ease. Use synonyms
Thus
, Linking Words
parents
' not careful attention towards their kids' healthy diet may result in obesity growth. To cite an example, my acquaintance who currently lives in Belgium suffers from being fat and his mother said Use synonyms
that is
her own fault that his son frequently eats in fast Linking Words
food
places because she cannot manage to do that work too. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the government often neglect the importance of Linking Words
sports
activities in educational institutes and they remove almost all Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
classes
from school curriculums. Saying thoroughly, schoolchildren rarely exercise which leads to the increasing percentage of obese pupils. Use synonyms
In other words
, they are deprived of doing Linking Words
sports
where they could burn their extra weight. Use synonyms
For example
, I was approximately 50kg at the age of 8, because I hated doing private Linking Words
sports
activities and as I seldom had physical education Use synonyms
classes
, it had a double bad impact on me.
In a nutshell, it is apt Use synonyms
to conclude
that both the government and Linking Words
parents
have their amount of fault for Use synonyms
this
disturbing trend among children.In terms of Linking Words
parents
, they are not willing to find extra time and allocate it for preparing even easy-prepared meals Use synonyms
such
as rice or pasta. Linking Words
Lastly
, with regard to the government, they find Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
classes
unuseful and pointless which Use synonyms
also
contributes to the obesity rate accession among youngsters.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Try to develop a more structured approach, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that guide the reader throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion; ensure the conclusion summarises the ideas discussed and restates your position without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all main points are clearly supported with specific details. Increase the use of examples that are directly related to the prompt to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure a full response to all parts of the task by addressing causes and effects, and by providing examples from your knowledge or experience that are specific and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Work on organising ideas more logically and comprehensively by grouping similar ideas in the same paragraph and using connecting words to show the relationship between ideas.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion