The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's world, the percentage of obese kids in Western nations has displayed a significant growth
by
approximately 20% during the Change preposition
of
last
ten years. Many people think the cause may be the existence of large-scale takeaway or fast food
centres, while
others believe that a few physical education classes
may be the major factor for children being overweight. This
essay will try to outline the reasons and effects of this
negative trend.
To begin
with, nowadays, many and many people choose fast food
over homemade food
due to
some reasons
and children from western regions are no exception. To be more clear, Fix the agreement mistake
reason
for instance
, the kids may consume fast food
because their parents
work and do not have spare time to prepare something for them and as junk food
contains a huge amount of fat and sugar offspring may get obese with ease. Thus
, parents
' not careful attention towards their kids' healthy diet may result in obesity growth. To cite an example, my acquaintance who currently lives in Belgium suffers from being fat and his mother said that is
her own fault that his son frequently eats in fast food
places because she cannot manage to do that work too. Moreover
, the government often neglect the importance of sports
activities in educational institutes and they remove almost all sports
classes
from school curriculums. Saying thoroughly, schoolchildren rarely exercise which leads to the increasing percentage of obese pupils. In other words
, they are deprived of doing sports
where they could burn their extra weight. For example
, I was approximately 50kg at the age of 8, because I hated doing private sports
activities and as I seldom had physical education classes
, it had a double bad impact on me.
In a nutshell, it is apt to conclude
that both the government and parents
have their amount of fault for this
disturbing trend among children.In terms of parents
, they are not willing to find extra time and allocate it for preparing even easy-prepared meals such
as rice or pasta. Lastly
, with regard to the government, they find sports
classes
unuseful and pointless which also
contributes to the obesity rate accession among youngsters.Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop a more structured approach, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that guide the reader throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion; ensure the conclusion summarises the ideas discussed and restates your position without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all main points are clearly supported with specific details. Increase the use of examples that are directly related to the prompt to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure a full response to all parts of the task by addressing causes and effects, and by providing examples from your knowledge or experience that are specific and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Work on organising ideas more logically and comprehensively by grouping similar ideas in the same paragraph and using connecting words to show the relationship between ideas.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion