It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

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There is no denying the fact that professional and life growth is mandatory nowadays.

While

it is a commonly held belief that taking

risks

in your personal and career lives has many advantages, there is

also

an argument that opposes it.

This

essay will analyse

this

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, taking

risks

in the professional and personal lives could provide a sense of challenges and improvement.

In other words

, when someone decides to break the familiar boundaries and try to engage in a new unknown situation

this

will give him invaluable skills like leadership, communication, and decision-making which play a pivotal step in shaping both the career and personal landscape.

In addition

, pushing yourself in every situation could open the door for opportunities that take you to a higher level of success and career advancement.

For example

, an individual who works in a low-paid job takes a risk to run his business and may gain a wealth of experience and improve his living.

On the other hand

, taking

risks

in your life has a potential drawback that entitles financial failure. It is

also

possible to say that engaging in dangerous activities without taking into account the possible obstacles, is ultimately conducive to considerable consequences that have a worse effect on your personality

such

as self-doubt, fear of taking a forward step, or even in the profession.

Moreover

experiencing financial instability has a negative impact on well-being.

For instance

, when an entrepreneur invested all his money in the stock market which tumbled after that, he complained of some health problems. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

question. On balance,

however

, I tend to believe that taking

risks

is a substantial step toward progress and success which contribute to individual fulfillment and professional advancement.

Submitted by dentdent4 on Tue Jan 23 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that both sides of the argument are explored fully. While the introduction is strong and the essay starts with a balanced view, the second argument is cut off and incomplete. Make sure to fully develop all points.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded with examples or explanations. The abrupt ending to the second paragraph could be improved with further explanation or a transition to the next point.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to clearly show the relationship between ideas. While the essay has an overall logical structure, the use of these will make the argument more accessible to the reader.

task achievement

The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points made in the essay without introducing new information. Reinforce your opinion based on the arguments made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

IBY, In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case?Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discubss both these views and give your own opinion.

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?