Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs. To what extent do you agree?

#people #person #culture #practices #customs

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Nowadays a tendency can be observed, that a lot of people travel around the world to discover other cultures. It is agreed , that visitors should respect citizens and their rules ,

otherwise

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misunderstandings can lead to different impediments.

This

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essay ,

firstly

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, will discuss the reason why adaptation to the local environment and their habitant's culture is necessary, followed by an analysis of situations when foreigners have the right to avoid rules.

To begin

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with, knowledge about

customs

Correct article usage

the customs

show examples

of people who live in the country where someone travels

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can bring an ability to stay away from any issues that are likely to happen.

Firstly

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, each government has their own laws and regulations,

therefore

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, even if visitors do something wrong by mistake, it will not absolve them of responsibility.

Secondly

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, trips give a chance to reveal native's eating habits and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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, which can be

conversely

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different from those which considered

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

ordinary.

For instance

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, Europeans have to try Chinese national cuisine to understand the difference between food.

Thus

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, gaining a new experience is necessary,

otherwise

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the trip will be meaningless.

On the other hand

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, there are some traditions which cannot be accepted by visitors, because of their religion or belief.

For example

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, Islam does not allow eating pork ,

while

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it is really common for Christians.

Consequently

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, in situations like

this

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, travellers can avoid

such

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practices.

In addition

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, each person has their options,so if something seems scary or dangerous for them, they can refuse to

do not

Verb problem

apply

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feel

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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uncomfortable.

To conclude

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this

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essay supports the idea that each individual who visits foreign countries must adopt and tolerate their traditions,

however

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, some of them can be rejected to follow, to avoid violation of personal borders.

Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on Wed Jan 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay structure is mostly clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion but it could benefit from clearer topic sentences that outline what each paragraph will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by connecting ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of linking devices.

task achievement

Each main body paragraph should start with a clear main point, followed by an explanation, and ideally presented with a relevant example. Ensure that the examples are detailed and directly illustrate the point you're making.

task achievement

While you have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a complete response to the prompt, your position could be stated more clearly to show to what extent you agree or disagree. Do not hesitate to express your own voice more prominently throughout the essay.

task achievement

To improve clarity and expression, avoid overly complex sentences or uncommon lexical choices that could confuse the reader. Make sure that complex sentences are clear and correctly punctuated.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs. To what extent do you agree?

Your opinion

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

many schools these days have problems with poor student behaviour

Some people feel that we should protect all wild animals. Other people think that only some wild animals should be protected. Discuss both points of view and give your opinon.