Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays a tendency can be observed, that a lot of people travel around the world to discover other cultures. It is agreed , that visitors should respect citizens and their rules ,
otherwise
misunderstandings can lead to different impediments. This
essay ,firstly
, will discuss the reason why adaptation to the local environment and their habitant's culture is necessary, followed by an analysis of situations when foreigners have the right to avoid rules.
To begin
with, knowledge about customs
of people who live in the country where someone travels Correct article usage
the customs
,
can bring an ability to stay away from any issues that are likely to happen. Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, each government has their own laws and regulations,therefore
, even if visitors do something wrong by mistake, it will not absolve them of responsibility. Secondly
, trips give a chance to reveal native's eating habits and behavior
, which can be Change the spelling
behaviour
conversely
different from those which considered to be
ordinary. Change the verb form
being
For instance
, Europeans have to try Chinese national cuisine to understand the difference between food. Thus
, gaining a new experience is necessary,otherwise
the trip will be meaningless.
On the other hand
, there are some traditions which cannot be accepted by visitors, because of their religion or belief. For example
, Islam does not allow eating pork ,while
it is really common for Christians. Consequently
, in situations like this
, travellers can avoid such
practices. In addition
, each person has their options,so if something seems scary or dangerous for them, they can refuse to do not
feel Verb problem
apply
themselves
uncomfortable.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To conclude
, this
essay supports the idea that each individual who visits foreign countries must adopt and tolerate their traditions, however
, some of them can be rejected to follow, to avoid violation of personal borders.Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is mostly clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion but it could benefit from clearer topic sentences that outline what each paragraph will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by connecting ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of linking devices.
task achievement
Each main body paragraph should start with a clear main point, followed by an explanation, and ideally presented with a relevant example. Ensure that the examples are detailed and directly illustrate the point you're making.
task achievement
While you have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a complete response to the prompt, your position could be stated more clearly to show to what extent you agree or disagree. Do not hesitate to express your own voice more prominently throughout the essay.
task achievement
To improve clarity and expression, avoid overly complex sentences or uncommon lexical choices that could confuse the reader. Make sure that complex sentences are clear and correctly punctuated.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?