The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years. 

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make 

comparisons where relevant.
The table depicts the number of cell
phones
sold in millions from 2006 to 2012. Generally from 2006 to 2012,
Nokia
has the greatest number of selling mobile
phones
.
However
, in the latest
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
Samsung
defeated
Nokia
by 396.5 in a year. It can be seen from 2006 to 2008
Nokia
always led the first
place
among other brands.
Then
, Motorola was the 2nd
place
for selling their
phones
from 2006 to 2007 and was able to reach 210 and 165, respectively.
However
, from 2008 to 2011 the amount of cell
phones
that
Samsung
was able to sale, it is increased steadily to 330 million
Change preposition
in
show examples
2011. With these changes,
Samsung
replaced Motorola as the 2nd
place
for 4 years.
Lastly
, the table has turned and in 2012
Samsung
became the biggest brand that managed to sell 396.5 million of their mobile cellphones. So, it can be said that in 2012, it was the first time
Nokia
became 2nd
place
among these six brands.
Submitted by bmaharani04 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words phones, nokia, samsung, place with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual sales
  • fluctuations
  • market saturation
  • technological advancements
  • consumer trends
  • brand dominance
  • growth trajectory
  • market share
  • innovations
  • peak sales
  • decline
  • stagnate
  • proliferate
  • exponential growth
  • market dynamics
  • forecast
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