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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parent and teacher be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

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Some people say that it is necessary for young kids to learn the difference between good and bad
things
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 at a young age. They think
punishment
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 is required to help
children
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 to learn good
behaviour
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. I personally believe that good
appreciation
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 is a better
punishment
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 to encourage kids to do well . In
this
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 essay, I will explain both sides by taking some examples from newspapers and journals.
To begin
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 with , Good
behaviour
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 among
children
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 plays a vital role in reflecting their personality. a good
appreciation
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 for
children
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's work would eventually help them to do the right
things
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 in future.
In addition
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,
Teachers
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 should reward
children
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 for their good work that
appreciation
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 will affect their peers for learning good
things
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.
For example
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 , a survey done by the New York Times revealed that 80% of
children
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 get rewarded for their good
behaviour
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 and way of living in Japan.
As a result
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 , the Crime rate is much lower in Japan and
this
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 country holds the world's top economy too.
Children
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 are the future of a nation.
Secondly
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 , The matter of the fact punishing
children
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 physically to learn good
behaviour
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 leads them to stress anxiety and depression .Most importantly ,
children
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 will lose interest in studies if physically abused by their
teachers
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 even though they start hiding
things
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 from their parents as well. I believe young kids should scared of parents and
teachers
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 if they are doing something wrong.
For example
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 Methods of
punishment
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such
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 as not allowing them to watch their favorite TV show and telling them to stay away from the screen for days rather than physically abusing them.
Finally
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 ,
appreciation
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 and encouraging them to learn good
things
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 in life is the best way to teach them.
Punishment
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 methods
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
could lead to discourage them . So I strongly believe that good support from parents and
teachers
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 would potentially help them to do well in their lives rather than abusing them physically.

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Introduction & Thesis
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion. Provide a clear thesis statement that exhibits your view.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your essay logically with clear paragraphs, each beginning with a topic sentence that summarizes the paragraph's main idea.
Supporting Examples
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Use data, anecdotes, or hypothetical situations to support your claims more effectively.
Cohesive Devices
Connect ideas with cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, for instance) and use them appropriately to signal the relationship between sentences and paragraphs.
Sentence Structure
Work on varying your sentence structure to add interest and complexity, and to demonstrate a wider range of grammar.
Punctuation & Grammar
Pay attention to punctuation and avoid run-on sentences. Each sentence should be grammatically self-contained and not overly lengthy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • positive reinforcement
  • negative reinforcement
  • disciplinary methods
  • behavioral psychology
  • natural consequences
  • physical punishment
  • psychological impacts
  • consistent rules
  • privileges
  • parenting strategies
  • educational approaches
  • ethical upbringing
  • moral compass
  • child-rearing practices
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