IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began.

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began.
The bar chart and line graph depict details of two genders females and males who entered the Olympics since it started. It is clear from the graph the
number
Use synonyms
increasing
Wrong verb form
has increased
show examples
 over the years.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a huge gap between men and women
participants
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
, males are always higher from 1924 to 1984. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 began with fewer than 4000 players.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it reached
at the end
Linking Words
 more 10000 players. Men
participants
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 increased with the same wave, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 no high jump
while
Linking Words
 the women players
number
Use synonyms
 in completely different,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
climbing more than trebel in the period 1924-1952.
In addition
Linking Words
, It continued uplifting from 1952 to 1984 with a percentage of growth. In the
last
Linking Words
 date in the chart 1984-
2012
Add a comma
2012,
show examples
 females recorded the percentage of growth at all.
However
Linking Words
, with that
jambing
Correct your spelling
jamming
jumping
jabbing
, they reduced the gap.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that males took the highest rink with
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 gap in
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
 period 1952-1984. Women
participants
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
 increased rapidly, especially in the period 1984-2012.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Olympic Games
  • participants
  • historical context
  • trend
  • exponential growth
  • influence
  • world events
  • diversity
  • technological advancements
  • global
  • gender equality
  • International Olympic Committee (IOC)
  • unity
  • competition
  • athletes
  • entry
  • represent
  • delegation
  • boycotts
  • milestones
  • parity
  • inclusive
  • disciplines
  • legacy
  • sponsorship
  • admission
  • elite sportspeople
  • national pride
  • cultural exchange
  • ambassadors
  • sportsmanship
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