The chart below gives information on the average cost of a monthly plan from four different mobile phone providers in a European country, between January and September 2012, measured in euros.
"The following chart presents data regarding the average monthly plan costs of four distinct mobile phone providers in a European country during the period from January to September 2012, denoted in
euros
.
Examining the line graph, we can observe some changes. The average cost of plans from Lex mobile phone provider
experienced only slight fluctuations with no significant changes. from January to September in January it was 13 Fix the agreement mistake
providers
euros
however
then
it increased till
17 Change preposition
to
euros
. In contrast
, the Alpha telephone provider underwent noticeable alterations ,initially
it cost only 5 Add a comma
initially,
euros
at the beginning of the year,
and improved considerably Remove the comma
apply
till
25 Change preposition
to
euros
. Now, let’s discuss the other operators.
Domo demonstrated fluctuating changes, initially
experiencing a decline in
15 Change preposition
of
euros
, followed by a slight increase, and then
a more significant rise with
23 Change preposition
of
euros
. These three companies encountered significant adjustments, with desirable outcomes, while
only Sim TX experienced a decline, indicating poorer performance with only 7 euros
approximately .
Overall
, it can be concluded that these companies underwent various adjustments, with three of them displaying favourable outcomes and only one provider exhibiting inferior results."Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words euros with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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