IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #right #access #university #education #governments #students #matter #background
One school of thought holds that all walks of life have permission to attend higher education, and the national authorities should waive their tuition.
While
 I accept that
this
 perception is somewhat justifiable, I assert that
this
 policy
also
 brings some drawbacks to that notion. On the one hand, it is understandable why the tuition exemption should be implemented. First and foremost, it could help individuals have decent occupations.
This
 is because, without worrying about money, they do not need to find a part-time job
as well as
 having time to focus on improving their scores at school and learning relevant job skills
such
 as communication, teamwork, or problem-solving ability, which could satisfy the corporations' requirements after graduating.
Furthermore
, providing free-of-charge education could support the country's development. To be more specific, the more people
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in universities, the more professional employees
such
 as doctors, engineers, or accountants are created, thereby greatly contributing to the thriving of their country by paying more taxes.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that the free college policy could be disadvantageous to a certain extent. One rationale is that it could negatively affect the quality of education.
This
 is because teachers and lecturers might work overtime to teach a huge number of students, which could cause them to fail to guarantee the quality of teaching
as well as
 reduce their students' academic performance. Another justification is that the enormous cost incurred to abolish tuition and pass
this
 law could put a strain on government coffers, thereby leading to budget deficits, tax hikes, or reduced social welfare.
As a result
, ordinary citizens, especially the underprivileged, would struggle even more to make ends meet. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that pursuing college without any fee might have some merits, I would contend that governing bodies should consider
this
 decision carefully because of its serious repercussions.
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure that you address the prompt completely by providing a clear stance throughout the essay. While you have provided some relevant examples, attempt to include more specific examples that are directly related to the argument to improve persuasiveness and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, make sure that paragraphs are well-structured and ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the logical progression of your essay. Also, consider developing your main points further to fully elaborate on your arguments and to provide detailed support for your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Accessibility
  • Social mobility
  • Meritocracy
  • Economic growth
  • Equality
  • Subsidize
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Human capital
  • Incentivize
  • Underfunded
  • Tuition fees
  • Academic achievement
  • Workforce
  • Tax burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays: