In many countries today, people buy a range of household goods( television, mircowave, oven and rice cookers). Is it a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, most families buy a lot of household appliances for their house to help with housework. The writer of
this
essay argues with
this
notion that it can help
people
save a lot of
time
as well as
improve their
knowledge
in various fields. It is vital to understand that technological devices can help humans make major career shifts by saving a lot of
time
. To put it simply, in the foreseeable future,
people
will spend money buying numerous modern gadgets to make a complex and cutting-edge system aim for do not waste much
time
on housework.
For instance
, nowadays, some households have a rice cooker which can cook rice automatically
instead
of spending many hours adjusting the temperature.
In addition
, an oven can help humans with barbecuing meat without fired. Another reason why families purchase a vast number of household appliances is how
people
can receive
knowledge
around the world from modern devices.
In other words
,
people
can research how to use the modern gadgets in a correct way.
For example
, some young children can improve their
knowledge
by watching programs on television.
Furthermore
, some olders can relax and be entertained by listening to music or news on the radio. In conclusion, spending enough money on technological devices
due to
their benefits helps
people
reduce
time
wastage on housework
as well as
people
gain large of
knowledge
and entertainment.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Your essay satisfactorily addresses the task prompt, and you present a reasoned argument for the benefits of using household gadgets. However, further elaboration on the negatives could increase task achievement and make the essay more balanced.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that all sentences within a paragraph logically develop the main idea. For instance, the transition between technological devices saving time and making career shifts could be clearer.
task achievement
Provide more precise and varied examples to support your main points. This will help to illustrate your arguments better and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well, creating a cohesive structure.
task achievement
The main points presented are relevant to the task prompt and show a thoughtful consideration of the benefits of household devices.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good effort to explain how household appliances can save time and provide entertainment, which adds depth to your argument.

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