IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Government of many countries had to impose a lockdown to control the Coronavirus pandemic. What were the advantages and disadvantages of this lockdown.Give eamples from your own experience

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The coronavirus
pandemic
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 came as a surprise in early 2020, and the world remained ill-prepared to address
this
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 crisis. In many parts of the world, governments imposed complete lockdowns to combat the
pandemic
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.
This
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 essay will discuss several advantages and disadvantages of imposing the
lockdown
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. In my opinion, there are two major benefits to enacting a
lockdown
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 to stop the spread of the virus.
Firstly
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, the free movement of
people
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 is restricted; they are no longer allowed to move from one place to another. It is strictly banned, and the person would be fined a hefty penalty if he broke the law.
For instance
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, the Indian government imposed a ban on intra- and inter-city transportation, which helped reduce the infection rate by 50%.
Secondly
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, the interactions of
people
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 with each other are restricted. In many cultures,
people
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 greet using hand-shakes, hugs, and kisses, they are the perfect instances for the virus to spread rapidly. Restricting
people
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 in their residence
also
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 helps reduce the infection rate greatly.
Although
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, the
lockdown
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 is the best available solution for combating the
pandemic
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,
however
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, there are two significant drawbacks related to it.
Firstly
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, the livelihood of workers is negatively affected because they are not allowed to travel to work. The daily wagers are the most affected because they rely on regular wages to support their expenses, and since the whole city was under curfew, it was impossible for them to acquire jobs and earn money.
For instance
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, the government of Pakistan decided not to impose a complete
lockdown
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,
instead
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, they proposed the idea of a smart
lockdown
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. In a smart
lockdown
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, the areas with high infection rates were put under strict monitoring
while
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 the other parts of the city remained open.
This
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 allowed daily wagers to earn their living. In conclusion, it is true that lockdowns are the most effective strategy in fighting the
pandemic
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.
However
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, there are considerable disadvantages to consider .

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coherence cohesion
The essay should have a stronger conclusion that succinctly summarizes the main points. This will help in wrapping up the argument more effectively.
task achievement
While the examples are relevant, providing more specific details and statistics where possible could strengthen the argument further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all points are linked back to the main argument clearly, maintaining a logical flow throughout. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases and sentences.
task achievement
The essay remains highly relevant to the task, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of the lockdown clearly.
task achievement
Good use of examples and clear ideas enhance the readability and understanding of the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout, making the essay easy to follow.
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