Some people are of the opinion that the best gift to give teenagers is Money, others think otherwise. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an ongoing debate about presents for teenagers and whether it is suitable to give them
money
Use synonyms
as a
gift
Use synonyms
or not. My point of view is, althuogh giving
money
Use synonyms
can be beneficial for young individuals, it has some sever disadvantages which should be considered. The following paragraphs will discuss
this
Linking Words
assertion.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
money
Use synonyms
as a
gift
Use synonyms
can be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
.
First,
Linking Words
by giving them
money
Use synonyms
in some ocasions, they will learn how to manage their financial status.
This
Linking Words
means that these residents will have the chance to gain som financial indipendence which can contribute them to be productive in their future lives. In fact, the more they understand about the quality of
money
Use synonyms
, the more
coutious
Correct your spelling
cautious
courteous
they will be in their livelihood.
Secondly
Linking Words
, by purchasing
money
Use synonyms
as a
gift
Use synonyms
, individuals may have the opportunity to buy whatever they want which can be
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
cheerfull
Correct your spelling
cheerful
cheerfully
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
matter must only be reached under strict supervision to prevent any harms.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
as a
gift
Use synonyms
can have numerous drawbacks. It can significantly pave the way misbehave which can be harmfull for the society. It has been considered that if
irisposible
Correct your spelling
irresponsible
teenagers had the chance to get a
larg
Correct your spelling
large
amount of
money
Use synonyms
, they would have the chance to misuse it.
For example
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
budget can be utilised for
subatance
Correct your spelling
substance
and drug abuse which will lead to a number of challenges for the community.
Moreover
Linking Words
, buying the stuff they want
instead
Linking Words
of
money
Use synonyms
can illustrate the personal relationship
bettween
Correct your spelling
between
residents and can
elabourate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
the bond.
This
Linking Words
means that for a well-qualified interactions with teenagers, it is crucial to give them a thoughtfull present.
Therefore
Linking Words
, giving
money
Use synonyms
as a present not only does alter the communications whitin people, but
also
Linking Words
it will compromise the future of residents by making them pron to misbehave. In conclusion, my perspective is, even though
money
Use synonyms
can be effective in managing the lifestyle, since it will creat a path for abuse of drugs and other stuff it is better to give teens somthing they want.
Submitted by imaneslampanahiep on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the progression of ideas is logical and smooth. Be consistent in your terminology and make better use of cohesive devices.
Task Achievement
Regarding task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. You should discuss both views and provide your own opinion clearly throughout the essay. Use more specific examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial freedom
  • Money management
  • Practicality
  • Irresponsible spending
  • Thoughtfulness
  • Creativity
  • Sentimental value
  • Tailored gifts
  • Interests
  • Hobbies
  • Balance
  • Personal circumstances
  • Memorable gifts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: