Some people think governments should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #governments #measures #health #citizens #individuals

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There is no doubt that these days some people have

opinion

Add an article

the opinion

an opinion

show examples

that

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

must do something to support and improve the

community

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community's

show examples

health

Use synonyms

and fitness.

In addition

Linking Words

, the

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

see that responsibility for the nation. The question is, how

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sould

Correct your spelling

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

take

care

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about

Change preposition

show examples

citizents

Correct your spelling

citizens

health

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the governments or personly

Change the punctuation

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to discuss the two

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of causes, it is completely the

individuals

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individual's

show examples

choice about their

health

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no one able to make

Correct your spelling

show examples

Use synonyms

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

person except

yor

Correct your spelling

your

foot. The main reason given to support

this

Linking Words

claim is that

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can do

sport

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sports

show examples

activities, gyms,

parks

Correct word choice

and parks

show examples

and you do not go. To illustrate, the most famous

sport

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sports

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players

they

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apply

show examples

started as hobbies or

telant

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talent

talents

tenant

. In

other word

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another word

other words

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, in old ages before the governments

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

was to the public because no

government

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was.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the group who threw the responsibility to

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government

Add an article

the government

a government

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

show examples

deveolpment

Correct your spelling

development

for the

facilties

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facilities

as well as

Linking Words

the awareness

camoaign

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campaign

for

health

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Firstly

Linking Words

, design programs for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

Use synonyms

care

Use synonyms

and ensure the sports

activite

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activity

activities

in schools to

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government

Add an article

the government

a government

show examples

they want

deveolpment

Correct your spelling

development

for the

facilties

Correct your spelling

facilities

as well as

Linking Words

the awareness

camoaign

Correct your spelling

campaign

for

health

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

has the ability to do free

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

care

Use synonyms

as Goulf countries

as well as

Linking Words

Canada. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the

government

Use synonyms

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

changer in

this

Linking Words

caus

Correct your spelling

cause

and could share with

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

Use synonyms

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

view

Verb problem

apply

show examples

could the

health

Use synonyms

managed by

own

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

everyone.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that to achieve the

gouls

Correct your spelling

goals

the work can be

sharing

Change the form of the verb

shared

show examples

with

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and people to improve the

health

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

citizens.

Submitted by Yousef on Wed Jan 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines your discussion points and your own stance, while the conclusion should summarize these effectively without introducing new ideas.

Logical Structure

Use a clear and consistent structure throughout the essay to organize main points and paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.

Supported Main Points

Back up your main points with relevant examples. Ideally, use real-world evidence to support your arguments.

Complete Response

Fully respond to all parts of the task. Your essay should address both views and your opinion, ensuring that each is explored and explained in depth.

Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

Make sure your ideas are not only clear but also detailed and comprehensive, providing an in-depth exploration of the topic without being too general or vague.

Relevant & Specific Examples

Use specific examples to illustrate your points and make your arguments more compelling. Avoid generic statements without factual or detailed support.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Some people think governments should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as awhole

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?

Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?